Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Tuesday, September 23, 2014

It certainly doesn’t resemble the place where I grew up anymore but every once in a while I’ll catch a glimpse of something iconic to my childhood that still exists and suddenly I’m a child again.
Hello, Lucy the Elephant.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:00 AM •
Monday, September 22, 2014

I arrive on the East Coast today. Get to see my brother who has been very sick but now insists he’s ok. I’ll be the judge of that. And then on to Spain, Portugal and Gibraltar. And so, for the first time since I started this blog, I am taking a two week hiatus unless I figure out a way to blog from Europe. And given my technological expertise, that’s a pretty slim chance.  This Thursday my regular column will still appear because I am nothing if not anal-retentive and so have already filed it with the paper. But that will be about it unless I get much better on my iPad between now and two days from now.
See in when I get back.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:26 AM •
Sunday, September 21, 2014

Thank you for the first ad of this never ending political campaign that has a sense of humor and doesn’t make me want to take a gun to my tv set. If people haven’t seen it yet, it features his mom and his wife. It’s not going to upend the campaign or anyone’s idea of either candidate, but at least you can watch it without wanting to scream. A little more humor from ALL the candidates would be very welcomed.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:29 AM •
Saturday, September 20, 2014

But I want some of whatever it is that the Fox News Team takes to make them so hysterically funny while they keep the straightest of faces.  They do know they’re funny, right?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:08 AM •
Friday, September 19, 2014

Got called last night for a Public Policy poll. One of the questions they asked was, “Who do you think started the fight that involved the Palin family? The Palins? The other family? You’re not sure?” Seriously? This is what is getting polled? Too bad they didn’t offer me “Don’t give a rat’s hairy behind” as a choice.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:07 AM •
Thursday, September 18, 2014

Let’s check in on the progress women are making in the world today. According to some, we no longer have any reason to complain. We have, in fact, become such “nazi-feminists” that men can no longer be men. You know, like in the good old days.  Of course, that would be the good old days for men, not necessarily women. So let’s see how we’re progressing in the early years of the 21st century.

Let’s start with the rate at which men murder women in Alaska. That would be two times the national average. Once again, Alaska’s number one, though I imagine if women are waving their finger at this news, the finger lifted would not be the polite one.
Of course, Alaska has no monopoly on treating women badly. No, the NFL is determined to retain that honor. Apparently an organization with amazing technological expertise in inserting cameras into the smallest possible places on a football field was unable to figure out how to get a copy of a video from a casino elevator. Imagine, all those NFL lawyers and not one of them able to get the footage that TMZ did. To the NFL’s credit (and I mean that as sarcastically as possible), the minute there was proof that Ray Rice had popped his girlfriend in the elevator, he was suspended and subsequently fired by the Baltimore Ravens.  This leaves one to wonder exactly what they thought when they saw him dragging her unconscious body out of the elevator. Oh wait, that’s right. She must have tripped and hit her head on his fist. To add insult to injury in this situation, there are still people blaming his now wife for staying with him. It’s as though the past decades of information on the psychology of abuse simply did not happen.
Let’s move on now to college campuses. On these campuses of hallowed learning, women are told to be very careful about partying, getting drunk or putting themselves in dangerous places where men can do horrible things to them. In other words, it’s still the woman’s fault. Women are responsible for protecting themselves from men who, apparently, do not have to be responsible. You rarely hear about men being told to not put themselves in the dangerous situation of drinking so much that rape becomes a seemingly good idea. No, we’re still told that men will be men and women must dress modestly, not raise their eyes in public and keep away from any party where drunkenness makes them fair game for any heinous act alcohol might fuel.
So how do you think women are doing so far? Not enough info yet? OK, how about we check in with the National Guard here in Alaska. Oops. Bad idea. Seems that the National Guard was operating under the theory that you can have no better guards for the hen house than wolves.
In China, baby girls are still considered less desirable than baby boys and are often “disposed” of in one fashion or another. In the mid-east, women walk around as veritable ghosts, hidden head to toe so they don’t raise carnal thoughts in men. Women are condemned to death for being raped, drowned by their families if they fall in love with the wrong person, and get beaten in public by any man who decides they’ve broken some rule of Islam. Meanwhile, the worldwide sex trade in young girls and women continues to rage unabated.
If men think that women have an “attitude”, they are very, very right. You’d have an attitude too if the tables were turned. If women are angry, then men need to face up to their part in creating that anger. To men who are reading this and saying, “But I treat all women with respect. I’m not one of the bad guys”, I ask if you still cheer the NFL despite the criminality of many of its players. That includes players who have obstructed a murder investigation, run a dogfighting ring and now beaten a woman with no greater penalty than a two game suspension until the video forced the NFL to do otherwise. Are you as horrified as I am that articles are already appearing discussing what Rice has to do to get back into the game?
Yep, women are angry. Men should be too. And it is now their turn to do something about it.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:29 AM •
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
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Happy Anniversary (a little late) Sandra and Harris. It’s nice to know some things do last.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:39 AM •
Tuesday, September 16, 2014

I’m just saying…

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:32 AM •
Sunday, September 14, 2014

It’s been less than a week since Ray Rice lost his job for punching his now wife’s lights out in an elevator and there are already stories appearing about the road he will have to travel for his comeback to professional football. Sigh. Am I the only one who thinks most of professional football is made up of assholes who think their shit doesn’t stink and they can get away with anything so long as they can throw or catch a ball. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much defines the NBA too. American rings its hands over proof of domestic violence while celebrating perpetrators ad infinitum.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:34 AM •
Saturday, September 13, 2014

Eisenhower had it right all those years ago. Today the military/industrial complex is out biggest economic engine. We export guns, missiles, bombs and planes to the world. We are the world’s army, navy and air force. How terribly, terribly sad. When did we decide to fuel our economy with death?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:51 AM •
Friday, September 12, 2014
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Well, it looks like someone in the family is ready for the coolness of fall. Dig the latest in stylish wear for autumn. Of course, BuddaBubba does not tolerate winter so she needs no winter clothing. She sees no need to go out between fall and spring when she can do everything she needs to on those nice pads her mommy scatters so tastefully throughout the house.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:45 AM •
Thursday, September 11, 2014

As the referendum on legalizing marijuana grows closer, there are many discussions that need to happen about the pros and cons of the issue. But the suggestion that having a discussion with your children about legalized pot is unknown territory puzzles me.  I can tell you unequivocally what my parents would have said to me because it would be the same thing they said to me about alcohol. Until I was 21, it was illegal for me to indulge. If I did, then my mother assured me she would send me to Kingdom Come. I wasn’t sure where that was but given the tone of her voice, I was pretty sure I didn’t want to go there.

Parents nowadays have more nuanced discussions about these issues with their children and that’s probably a good thing. On the other hand, I wasn’t all that sure that my drinking alcohol before I was twenty-one wouldn’t send my mother to an early grave as she continually threatened. That uncertainty went a long way towards keeping my siblings and me on the straight and narrow until we finally figured out that it was biologically impossible.
Back to the main point, though – what do you say to your children about legalized marijuana? If you’ve had the discussion with them about alcohol, I’d suggest just using the same words while substituting pot for alcohol. In fact, you can cover pot and alcohol all in one grand talk. Both are substances that can be abused. Both are substances that can harm you. Both are substances that are not legal for children to have. And both are (or might become) legal substances that your children will need to know how to handle. Their similarities outweigh their differences except for the violence associated with alcohol that is rarely associated with pot.
As we cope with the resounding failure of the war on drugs and the extensive damage it has done to our society, we need to face the fact that having a talk with your kids about the horrors of pot while holding a glass of wine makes no sense to them. They can see the hypocrisy a mile away. Our war on drugs has resulted in the United States having more of its citizens incarcerated than any other country in the world – and that includes China and Russia. Our prior war on alcohol led to a 13-year period that produced crime families on an unprecedented scale. Neither prohibition actually stopped use of the substance. At some point, common sense must prevail as we enter a fiscal future where our current expenditures on a failed program are no longer viable given the true lack of any evident success.
There are a lot of topics that need to be brought up for discussion over this issue, but how to talk to your kids about it shouldn’t be one of them. If you have the words for a discussion of alcohol, you have the words for a discussion of marijuana. The difference is that it has become considered so wrong to discuss pot in a calm and reasoned manner that a person feels uncomfortable even trying to do it.
We have demonized this drug for too long. We have allowed a bureaucracy in the war on drugs to become addicted to the funds it receives every year. We have become unable to unravel the truth about pot because of the noise of fear created by those who still believe it is somehow a gateway drug to life on the streets. We have become so inundated with half-truths, untruths and truthiness concerning pot that we no longer know what to believe. For so long as we are that confused about the topic, we will never be able to have a logical discussion with our children concerning it.
Most parents have no problem sitting their children down and discussing alcohol use and abuse and the need to wait until they are adults to try it. These same parents usually have no problem offering their grown children wine at the dinner table or a cocktail before the meal is served. Yet they can’t imagine sharing a joint with those same adult children because it just feels wrong. Given the statistics of the damage done by alcohol to society versus the damage done by pot, you’d think it should be the other way around.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Wednesday, September 10, 2014

I spent part of Monday morning babysitting a five year old boy. I may recover by the weekend. Meanwhile, be assured that having children is a task best left to the young and strong. He is an amazing kid. He also has more energy in his pinky finger than this whole house, including parrots and dogs, produces in a month. And I’m pretty sure he does NOT have an x chromosome anywhere in his body.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:51 AM •
Tuesday, September 09, 2014

No secret. Look at the sad choices they have. I can understand the “why bother” attitude, even if I don’t think it’s right.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:40 AM •
Monday, September 08, 2014

Number 564 - work on your keyboard while eating a breakfast sandwich of egg and jam. Jam jams the keyboard and makes all the letters very, very sticky.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:05 AM •

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