Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Friday, August 31, 2012
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Please, mom, let me out. I promise to sniff appropriately from now on. I will not put my nose where it doesn’t belong ever again.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:48 AM •
Thursday, August 30, 2012

I think that under the heading of giving credit where credit is due, we should acknowledge the many, many Republicans who denounced US Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) and his asinine remarks about women and rape. I am almost certain that the majority of them meant it and were not just saying the right thing to avoid election losses.

The lesson that really needs to be taken from this incident is not that this man is a complete blithering idiot. That’s a given. The lesson that needs to be taken from this is that for so long as science is treated as opinion and not fact, for so long will people like Mr. Akin feel free to believe whichever Dr. Doofus comes along and makes some totally ignorant statement, no matter how egregious it may be.
I know my first thought on hearing his comment was wondering who the heck the doctors were who told him this because I wanted to be very sure they never treated me for anything more serious than a hang nail. And I’m not sure I’d even trust them to do that.
Because of the hue and cry over creationism versus any actual scientific theory of the universe, we are raising children being taught religious beliefs in science class as a viable alternative.
Every religion in history has its own creationist theory. And every religion is entitled to teach and believe that theory in its own setting. But they are not entitled to have it taught in public schools. They are not entitled to “agree to disagree” when the issue at hand is fact versus articles of religious faith. That just confuses kids about whether or not there are actual facts in life. It also means that we are becoming the laughing stock of the world for turning out students for whom science is a smorgasbord of alternative theories derived from ancient texts written at a time when people thought the sun revolved around the earth.
If this is what Akin says when answering a question for which his handlers have not provided him with a written response, then I have to believe that the statement represents his true beliefs and everything he has said since then has been damage control.  That there are still men in this world who believe that there are “legitimate” or “forced” rapes versus… well, I don’t know what other kind of rapes there are. If you aren’t being forced, then isn’t it just consensual sex? If Akin talks about “legitimate” rape, then it is clear that somewhere in his dusty attic, he has some idea that there is something that is not a legitimate rape. And that’s just darn scary.
Conservatives claim that the Democrats are unfairly painting them as anti-women. Well, you can see when something like this happens why we might feel that way. Yes, a majority of Republicans and conservatives have condemned Akin and demanded that he drop out of the race. But for some, that’s just self-serving because they fear the repercussions in the voting booth if this man stays on the ballot.
As a woman who has been educated enough to know the difference between science and faith, I have to admit that right now, the Republican Party is scary to me. I don’t want my children to be taught that a religious myth holds the same validity as science. It doesn’t. I don’t want people in elected office who believe my body has some sort of magical power to prevent an unwanted pregnancy. If that were true, we’d never have another abortion in this country. Women would just use their magical power to keep from getting pregnant.
Being conservative in areas like the economy or government regulation is a legitimate position, even if it’s one with which I tend to disagree. These are areas in which open and honest debate should be held so that when we go to the polling booth we have a clear idea of how our vote will affect our country’s future.
Being conservative in the sense that you believe science shows women are magical creatures who can control their bodies during a “legitimate” rape is, quite simply, not only ludicrous but frightening in its implications.
It’s something I hope women will remember when they vote this fall.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:40 AM •
Wednesday, August 29, 2012

As I grow older, it’s the little things that can make my day. For instance, today I found sugar free Jose Cuervo margarita mix in my local grocery store. Before this, I had to order sugar free drink mixes online for a lot of money. Now, I can dilute my margaritas with enough sugar free mix so that I don’t have to taste the tequila at all. And it won’t cost me half as much as it used to.
Life is good.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:21 AM •
Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Can someone please tell me the friggin’ point of pants with no pockets. Where the hell am I supposed to stash my tissues?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:27 AM •
Monday, August 27, 2012

Bird TLC, our wild bird rehab facility here in Anchorage, is in desperate need of a place to relocate within the next six weeks. We need about 1000 - 2000 sq. ft. of space with an office. (The volunteers would also appreciate it if there was a bathroom but that’s probably not required.)
Just remember, we are the organization that put the word “non” in non-profit, so we can’t pay very much. But we’re really nice people and you would be helping the amazing birds of Alaska by helping us find space for them to heal when injured.
If you know of any space that might be appropriate and available, please hit the contact me button on this page and send me a message.
If we don’t find a space before we lose our current one, they are going to store frozen rats and mice in my garage freezer. So please remember that my family doesn’t need much more encouragement to sign the commitment papers. NOT having frozen rats and mice in my freezer might keep them at bay for another year or so.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:55 AM •
Sunday, August 26, 2012
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:37 AM •
Saturday, August 25, 2012

Carl’s Jr. is offering a new sandwich called the Grilled Cheese Bacon Cheeseburger. Basically it is a cheeseburger inside a grilled cheese sandwich. I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that it has enough calories and cholesterol to take a family of four in a starving African country through most of a year.
On TV, it is being advertised using a model who bites into it with gusto despite the fact that her size makes it clear that a cracker fills her up on a good day. But we are somehow supposed to believe that the tiny, skinny model eats this way routinely.
And this is why America is so damned fat.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:08 AM •
Friday, August 24, 2012

Am I the only one who thinks that at some point it will be revealed that Paul Ryan is sending pictures of his privates over the Internet? Doesn’t he just look the type?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:06 AM •
Thursday, August 23, 2012

A friend pointed out to me that the two lead stories in the paper this past Sunday involved healthcare. One story was about a baby who recently died of cancer. The other was about a wounded warrior who was deemed not eligible for VA healthcare because he had a less than honorable discharge.

The friend asked me how we got to determine who did or didn’t deserve health care in our society. It’s an interesting question.
I hear from a lot of people who think that if you don’t have health care and you get sick, tough luck. It’s your problem for being too lazy to get a job with benefits or too dumb to not get sick. Either way, they don’t want to spend their hard earned tax dollars on someone they deem not worthy. I assume that’s how some people define who deserves health care in America.
In the case of the child with cancer, government health care was available thanks to Denali KidCare. The child’s medical bills were covered even though his parents did not have independent insurance coverage. However, they are over their heads in debt from all the other expenses that accrue when you are accompanying your child on a painful journey that no parent should ever have to take with their child.
Because of this, they are unable to continue to employ the half dozen people who had worked the farm with them. Six more jobs lost to the economy. Yet if the government had some sensible policy in place to support people through a traumatic event such as this, these parents could potentially still be employing those people. Basically, if we’d found a way to provide them with what is probably the equivalent of an annual salary for a couple of their employees, they could have kept six people working, paying taxes and earning their own way in life.
That sounds like an awfully fair exchange to me. These are not lazy people. This is a family attempting to live the American dream. In fact, dare I say it, what conservatives would claim as their vision of the American dream – hard working, family oriented, job creators. Their community and church are doing all they can to help. Why would anyone think it was anything but a good idea to have a program that helps them remain the independent people they clearly strive to be?
The story about the wounded warrior, the vet with a less than honorable discharge who is no longer eligible for VA care until his case has been “reviewed”, bothered me perhaps even more. Here was a man who had entered the military, seen combat, been injured in the process, been honored with awards for his service and then been discharged for less than honorable behavior. Given that the less than honorable behavior apparently began AFTER the head wounds, after the tours in the Mideast, after the diagnosis of PTSD, one can only wonder why anyone would deny this veteran the care he needed.
Until such time as a clear line can be drawn with PTSD on one side and inherently dishonorable actions on the other, this vet should be given the benefit of the doubt and get health care from the VA. Research has made it very evident that we honestly don’t have a clue as to all the damage PTSD can do. We have even less of a clue how PTSD combined with Traumatic Brain Injury will play out in a person’s psyche and personality. Common sense would suggest that if the questionable behavior didn’t start until after the problems created by deployment, injury and general military service in a war zone, then maybe it’s not the fault of the soldier who has had his brain altered by events beyond his control.
When did we become such a mean country? When did we become so damn self-righteous and un-Christian? If Jesus didn’t ask for proof of need before caring for the sick, why do we?
We need to rediscover the heart and compassion that made this country great by offering a helping hand to those trying to climb the ladder to a productive life. We need to end the attitude that says so long as I have mine, I don’t give a darn if you get yours.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:43 AM •
Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Here’s a simple one step solution to telling the Democrats from the Republicans.
If the crime involves money, bribery, buying or selling of favors, it’s a Dem.
If the crime involves sex of any kind but especially man on man or man or boy sex, its a Rep.
While this is not true one hundred percent of the time, it’s true often enough to be a rule of thumb.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:44 AM •
Tuesday, August 21, 2012

US Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) recently stated that victims of “legitimate rape” rarely get pregnant because the “female body has ways to shut that whole thing down.” His later apology for this remark was that he meant “forcible” rape and that “legitimate” was the wrong word to use.
OH SWEET LORD! Does this man not get that ALL rapes are forcible or they are not rapes? And what the hell does he think our bodies do? Does he think that some part of our body notices we’re being raped and sends word to our uterus that this sperm should not be allowed to fertilize an egg?
This man is running for the US Senate. For those who wondered if the reputation of that once august body could fall any further into the crapper, here you go. Living proof it can if he’s elected.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:28 AM •
Monday, August 20, 2012

Am I the only one who thinks that when Ryan and Romney are photographed together they look like an ad for manly after shave?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Sunday, August 19, 2012

The headline read, “Bristol Palin weighs in on VP pick”. Really? What idiot cares what she thinks? Can she think? Does what she thinks matter even the slightest, let alone enough to make headlines online? And while I’m at it, if she’s on a show titled “Dancing with the Stars”, why don’t I recognize 90% of the names?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:03 AM •
Saturday, August 18, 2012

Watching your dog lift his leg to a tree but for some unaccountable reason, lose his balance and fall over in mid-stream. That’s what’s embarrassing.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Friday, August 17, 2012
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:13 AM •

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