Am I the only one who wonders if Keanu Reeves goes into a pod in between movies to be re-energized?
Barfing her way to your heart
Well, my sister managed to barf her way across the world as we traveled. But even this she does in style. This time she waited until she was in the Hotel Del in Coronado. If you’re going to be sick, be sick first class I say.
Huh?
So I go to freecredit.com to check on my credit score based on their eight million commercials saying my life will suck if I don’t know it. And lo and behold, the offer is only good in the contiguous United States. Hawaii and Alaska need not apply. And I have to ask how this makes any sense? I mean, this is the Internet for god’s sake. It’s not like the company is going to be charged extra for sending something to Alaska and Hawaii. So exactly what is the problem with this picture? Or are the people running the site
Auction for the birds
It was one of those moments. I shoved the salmon with pill into the eagle’s mouth as one volunteer held him and another gingerly pried his mouth open. I’d get the salmon down far enough to think he’d surely have to swallow. He’d glare at me and, the minute we let go of his mouth, spit it right back out. Then he’d glare some more. I’d pick up the now tattered piece of salmon barely holding a melting pill in its center and we’d do the dance again. Eventually the humans won. But it was not lost on me that
So Don Young doesn’t represent me?
According to Don Young, he will answer questions about his legal battles and finances only from his constituents. To be one of his constituents, you apparently had to have voted for him. I didn’t vote for him. Does this mean I have no representative in the House of Congress? Does this make me a free agent who can pick a representative from anywhere to be mine? Does this make Don Young unfit to hold public office?
And how do you wake up in the morning?
I wake up with a dog on either side of me. No, they don’t sleep there all night. They get up on the bed and in position when they think it’s about time to rise and shine. If I want to sleep in even the slightest, I have to remain absolutely still and give no evidence whatsoever that I am awake. So there I lay, arms going numb, bladder full, wondering if I can possibly fall back to sleep in that level of discomfort or whether I should just get up and start the day. And somehow they know. They
Here’s the thing
I am destined to never be the person walking down the road with a dog under perfect control even without a leash. I saw such a person today on my walk and envied him. His dog walked by his side carrying a toy in his mouth. The man had but to move his hand slightly and the dog instantly obeyed. My dogs, meanwhile, were pulling and twisting on the leash while I slipped and slid on the ice yelling, “Girls, be good. Stop it. Don’t trip me. You’re getting the leash twisted.” and perhaps some other language best not repeated.
It’s Oscar day!
It’s Oscar night, my favorite night of the year. I sit in my easy chair in my nightie, no bra, no makeup, a bowl of popcorn at hand, and pick the gown I am most glad I’m not wearing because it looks so uncomfortable to hold my breath that long. Every time a winning gown shows up on the TV, I take a swig of juice, a handful of popcorn and thank god I was born without talent.
Getting sick and older
I sat there in a chair at the clinic and the PA said to me, “This low blood pressure could be the start of congestive heart failure.” I was completely insulted. Congestive heart failure is what happens to old people. Then I checked my birth date. Damned if I don’t qualify.
Oh yeah, it wasn’t congestive heart failure.
This weather sucks
No one should have to endure breakup more than once a year. So why is my front yard an icy swimming pool? C’mon, god. It’s bad enough you created breakup, but to do it to us twice in a year is simply wrong.