Elise Sereni Patkotak

When people ask me why I don’t date, I tell them the answer is simple. If I’m attracted to someone, it is a given that they will have no job, no money, a jail or psych hospital history or be about to be admitted to one or the other of those fine institutions. I have uncanny radar for the type. Which is why i decided a long time ago to adopt birds and dogs instead

That’s my response to the three hour dental appointment I have today.  Really, the government simply has to legitimize some happy drugs that are given automatically if you have to spend more than 15 minutes in a dental chair in any given year.

Went to the zoo yesterday to watch the polar bears Louie and Ahpun celebrate their birthdays. Tagged along with a friend and her grandchildren. When you don’t have your own, borrowing other people’s grandchildren is the next best thing. I’m not sure who was more fascinated…me or them. But I guess I should apologize now to all the little kids I elbowed out of the way in order to get a better view of the bears.  Hey – if you don’t want your kids poked and pushed, don’t bring them to the bears’ birthday party.  I mean, it’s not like

I somehow put a file away on my computer and now I can’t remember where I put it. So I will spend the weekend searching my hard drive using every word I can think of that might have possibly been in the title of the file. Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I can’t remember what I titled the file? God, old age is so much fun.

I find that the people who take the time to write to me, whether they agree with my positions or not, are probably the people I would be most comfortable socializing with because they at least care enough to have an opinion and express it.  I’d be willing to guess that, for the most part, they are also the people who vote in every election.

Of course, I always think my opinions are right. But I respect the ones I receive that disagree with me if only because it gives me hope for the future of this state and country

I can honestly say that there is nothing that looks more uncomfortable and abashed than an eagle that has just been bathed.  Unless it’s an eagle sitting in a bin being blow dried.  Of course, if it had been female eagles instead of males, they might have enjoyed the bath and blow dry more. But they were too smart to begin with to dive into that truck of slime in Kodiak.  Guys! Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them. But it sure was special to be there yesterday feeding them.

Thirty of them. Sent up from Kodiak to Bird TLC after they dive bombed a salmon slime truck. These are the lucky ones. They survived.  Albeit a bit embarrassed by the whole experience. I’m off to feed them. Does life get much better than this

Saturday morning I looked out into my front yard because Wilson, my watch bird, was screaming warnings. There were our two neighborhood moose, browsing on the three trees I keep in my front yard just for them. So that’s how I wasted an entire hour despite a rushed deadline on an enormous project that is due tomorrow. I stood there sipping coffee, watching moose, protecting my bird from their baleful stares and wondering once again why anyone would live anywhere else in the world but Alaska.

I may be a bit sensitive to this writers’ strike because, as a writer, I know how hard it is to get fair compensation for what I do.  And if there is any doubt in anyone’s mind about why writers are so important, tune in to the Daily Show or the Colbert Report. Still pretty good but clearly missing the snap and razor sharp wit that professional writers bring to the table. 

The good news is that during the strike, I had more time to read than I’ve had since we went beyond three channels on the dial.