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I long for snow

…if only because that means this incessant rain will end.  When I had only one dog, I could walk and carry an umbrella. Now with two dogs and two leashes, my only choices are to get wet or learn how to hold an umbrella in my mouth for three miles. And don’t suggest I use the leash that has two chains at the end but only one handle. My dogs each go their own way and want their own leash.  And it’s not that they’re spoiled as much as it’s just easier to give in sometimes.

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Columns 2007

Send Maggie south; end the negative headlines

The Alaska Zoo is generating enough bad publicity to make me wonder if they have learned nothing from the travails of our political class?  As the situation with Maggie drags on, negative news about the zoo continues to pile up.  What may ultimately be lost in all this is not Maggie, but the tremendous good the zoo actually does with other animals.

I don’t think anyone but the most diehard of diehards is still trying to justify keeping Maggie in Alaska. The majority of people seem to agree on two things. One, we all love Maggie dearly. Two, Alaska is

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**!#@##%***%!!!**% plastic wrapping

I had to take a toothbrush and its electric base out of the wrapping today.  I was close to tears before the ordeal ended. I had used a scissors and knife and small saw attempting to get the plastic to let me in. I was walking around the kitchen banging the damn thing on counters and using every four letter word…and more than a few five, six and seven letter words….I know.  I had two cuts on my right hand from the plastic when I finally got in.  What the hell are the geniuses who design packaging thinking?  What are

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9/11

It’s 9/11/07.  Six years ago, George Bush swore he would capture Osama Bin Laden dead or alive and hold him accountable for what he did.  Yeah, right.  Easier to go after an idiot like Saddam Hussein than actually try to go head to head with someone who was intelligent enough to plan and carry out 9/11.

George Bush is a shame to this nation.  Osama Bin Laden’s continued freedom is a slap in the face to every person who died on 9/11 and their survivors.  I don’t know how Bush sleeps at night. He has destroyed America’s moral standing and

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What the hell happens in men’s public restrooms?!!!!

The more I read about Senator Craig’s little episode and the convoluted and complicated little world of signals and taps and finger signs, the more I find myself thinking:

1. Boys never really do grow up, do they? They still have secret handshakes that make them cool….or secret something they shake.

2. If all this is happening in their restrooms, how come they still go in and come out quicker than 90% of the women I know?  Suddenly, I find myself hoping even more fervently that they take the time to wash their hands.

3. Why is it that women’s

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Bye Bye Birdie

Hey all you Anchorites (or Anchoregeans if you prefer)…don’t forget that today is Bye Bye Birdie at the old Rabbit Hutch site off Old Seward above Potter’s Marsh. Come see an eagle released back to the wild and meet our candidates for Bird of the Year. From 11 until 4.  Bring the kids. There will be all kinds of fun things for them to do.

End of commercial.

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Let me see if I get this….

Our corrupt state politicians not only can’t successfully pull off a good bribery scheme without being caught redhanded on tape; they not only are dumb enough to print up hats with the logo “CBC” for Corrupt Bastards Club” and keep them around in their offices; but at least one of them also can’t tell the difference between a sleeping pill and a male enhancement pill.  That they haven’t driven this state into the Arctic Ocean is the real mystery.

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