Let’s see….we let the communists take East Berlin and we took the west. We let the communists take North Korea and we took the south. We let the communists take North Vietnam and we took the south. Is there a pattern here that might help us get out of Iraq? I’m hearing East Iraq and West Iraq…or North Iraq and South Iraq. We divide the country, get the hell out and let the civil war follow its natural course. Why is that so hard for all those big brains in DC to figure out?
Can you feel the excitement
Forget Martin Luther King. Today is the Golden Globes. Can you feel the excitement? I’m always happiest when America gets its priorities right.
Jet for sale
The state of Alaska has a jet for sale. It’s actually a very nice little jet that never did anything to anybody to deserve the treatment it’s getting. But it made the mistake of being associated with possibly the most unpopular governor our state has ever had and now it’s paying the price. Won’t someone give it a good home, please? It even has a toilet!
I did not know
There is a new underarm deodorant out with Olay in it as a conditioner. I’m almost sixty years old and I never knew my underarms needed conditioning. How have I survived for so long?
Am I just a wimp or just too old
In Barrow, my cutoff point for a walk was 29 below – or 20 below if there was a windchill. It was only 10 below in Anchorage the past two days with just a slight wind blowing yesterday and I was too cold to walk. Am I just becoming an urban wimp or is age catching up with me?
A new definition of failure
According to a Bush administration official, not capturing Osama Bin Laden is not a failure on their part. It’s a success that has not yet happened. All you kids out there remember that the next time you bring an F home on your report card. It’s not a failure. It’s a success that hasn’t yet happened.
May god have mercy on the English language.
Health care benefits for same sex couples…what would Jesus do?
As the new legislature convenes in Juneau, at least some members are determined to make health benefits for same sex partners an issue whether the public wants it to be or not. According to an article in the Anchorage Daily News recently, Representative Mike Kelly of Fairbanks is quoted as saying, “The people of Alaska are sound asleep on this and they better wake up.” Adding to the general fun being had up there where the cold seems to be freezing brains at an astonishing rate even for legislative gray matter, House Majority Leader John Coghill of North Pole added
Another helpful nutritional hint
If you eat a whole bag of sugar free red licorice sticks before you go to sleep, you will not feel all that good when you wake up in the morning. Trust me on this.
A message to god
OK, I get it. I live in Alaska and it snows a lot here. Now could we please have a little break so I can restock my emergency grocery supplies?
If there is a god….
Pat Robertson has announced that god has told him there will be a terrorist attack in America this year. If there really is a god, that attack will happen in Robertson’s pants and we will be rid of him and his gospel full of hate forever.