Why is everyone always so startled to find out that all men institutions tend to attract men who are homosexual? Seriously, look at the Catholic Church…all men, all the time. Why would that not attract you if you were a gay man? A group that has institutionalized the segregation of women from their midst. And now people are shocked, shocked I say, to find out there may be gay basketball players. The next thing you know, someone will tell us that baseball and football have the same issue. Then America will truly fall apart since these three sports, as best
Exactly where is Kingdom Come
Here’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever been told by a parent. “I can’t make my kids to go to school if they don’t want to.” The kids in question were in elementary school.
My parents had surprisingly little difficulty in telling me what to do when I was in elementary school. The had no trouble telling me what to do in high school. And they had no trouble telling me what to do when I was an adult. The only difference was that when I was an adult and not living at home, I didn’t necessarily do what they
A word to Jack Nicholson
Get gastric bypass surgery. You’re starting to look like Marlon Brando, the later years.
Academy Awards night
I don’t know about you, but I wear sweats and a tiara while eating bean soup and corn bread to celebrate this most glamorous of all nig….oh god, I can’t even fake my enthusiasm long enough to finish that sentence. I watch them to see what ridiculous gowns will appear this year on people old enough to know better. So far, nothing in recent history matches the lady who wore the swan or the one who looked like an anorexic ballet dancer or that see through outfit Barbra Streisand wore when her butt loomed so large. Each year I keep
A fair warning to all drivers in Anchorage
If you zoom up behind me in traffic as though I could magically leapfrog over the car in front of me so you can continue your mad dash towards death, I promise you this. I will slow down to 35 mph and watch through my rear view mirror while your blood pressure rises until it blows the top of your head off. I will laugh maniacally the entire time.
An early nomination
For my Hall of Infamy, I am going to propose any candidate for president who declares his or her candidacy more than twelve months ahead of the actual election. This is America, damn it. No one should be allowed to annoy me longer than that without paying me for the privelege.
Even I thought they’d last longer
I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised. But I must admit I thought the Dems would hold it together for at least a month after Obama declared his candidacy. Ah me. What an eternal optimist I am. Let the bloodshed commence.
You have to dig deep
Every once in a while I fantasize about what it would be like if George Bush took violently ill and had to leave the presidency. And it occurs to me that if that happened, Dick Cheney would be president. So then my fantasy continues that Dickie gets violently ill and can’t be president either. At that point it occurs to me that the next in line is Nancy Pelosi. And my heart starts to sink as I wonder how deep we’d have to go before we found someone to be president who didn’t make me want to run screaming into
The media’s influence on our children absolutely sucks
It seems to me that in a world in which parents and kids have immediate access to each other through cell phones, instant messaging, e-mail and the occasional actual face-to-face encounter, parents should be able to exert a lot more control over what their kids see and hear than they actually do. In fact, I’d be willing to venture that my parents had much greater control over the content in my life till I left for college than most parents have over their elementary school kids now.
Whenever I see ads on TV for parental controls on programming, I wonder
Fun with hot flashes
I can only thank god mine are over and done with. But for those of you who still feel like you are periodically dumped into the center of the sun, check out Menohaven.com. A friend told me about the site so I went over to see what they’ve invented since I went through menopause to help the process along. Needless to say, since men don’t suffer from menopause or have hot flashes, science hasn’t come up with a way to let us glide through this period with a smile and a laugh. But other women have sure done a