April is Child Abuse Awareness Month. This year, it’s also the month in which Christians celebrate Easter, a time that honors the death and resurrection of a man who famously said in Mark 10:14, “ Suffer the little children to come unto me and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.”
As a child growing up Catholic, I never doubted that those words were literally as well as figuratively true. Pictures hung all over our grade school of Christ sitting on a rock with little chubby boys and girls running towards his open arms with joy on their faces.
That picture brought great comfort to my childhood because it was accompanied in reality by a loving father and uncles whose arms were always open and welcoming to any child needing a hug or reassurance or just a moment feeling the warmth of their shirts, the roughness of their hands and the strength of their grip.
Not that any of my uncles would have ever admitted to this. They would grumble and gripe and say we were making too much noise or getting in the way of their bocce ball game or running too close to the grill. But we knew that they were all welcome havens so long as we didn’t abuse the privilege and bother them while they were eating or the Phillies were on TV. And woe betides the child who did not remember to offer a kiss to them at the start and end of a visit.
The kids I work with in state custody through either social services or juvenile probation usually don’t have such positive frames of reference when it comes to family. If they came from a home in which drinking, drug abuse and domestic violence were part of the problem, there is every chance a “hug” from an uncle, older brother, father or cousin holds a much more sinister meaning.
And the mothers, aunts, sister and other female relatives who choose to drink to the point of incapacitation so that little children are left on their own to fend off sexual predators and physical abusers are equally at fault. While I am very aware that many of these women are also victims, the bottom line in these situations is that children have no escape. If the adults do not protect them, they have no protection.
The unfortunate result of the epidemic of violence and abuse in our families in Alaska is that children by the thousands are being raised in state custody. Many of these kids will never be able to go home because their parents will not take the steps needed to provide for their safety.
As I’ve mentioned in the past, the state ultimately makes a lousy parent. Not only does it rarely take its turn in hosting the family holiday dinner, but it also tends to cut the apron strings rather abruptly when the child turns 18. One day you are considered dependent and in need of protection; the next day the door is opened and the state basically says, “It’s been nice knowing you. Stay in touch.”
More often than not, social workers, GALs and foster parents find themselves scrambling to help these kids make the transition to independence with little in the way of services available. Which is why I think the state legislature should drop everything else it is doing right now and pass SB 287 introduced by Senator Johnny Ellis to allow churches, community organizations, non-profits, and businesses to establish education savings accounts in the name of a foster child.
This bill requires no money from state coffers. It demands no additional revenues be raised. It just gives people with big hearts and generous souls a way to help a kid. It might be a kid they know because the foster parents belong to that church or community organization. It might be a kid that shows some special talent and just needs some help getting the education needed to foster that talent.
Whatever it is, it makes sense that we do everything we can to help these kids make it as adults after we poured so much time and energy into them as children. The state can’t do what a parent does when a kid turns 18. It can’t provide a home for them to fall back on if things get rough. It can’t provide a safe haven if the road to adulthood gets rockier than first imagined. If they blow it as adults, the only home the state provides for them is usually jail.
But the state can allow caring and concerned people to take on that role in some little way to let these kids know that they are not forgotten. And passing this bill would certainly live up to the spirit of the man whose death and resurrection is so widely observed this season.