There are two things for which I am very grateful in my old age. One is that I threw out my last pair of pantyhose in 1988. And yes, they were queens. The second is that I got too old to give a damn before Spanx were invented so that I will never have to even try to put them… whatever the hell they are… on. And from what I’ve heard about Spanx, it sounds like they are just your old fashioned girdle and long line bra in a modern iteration. Didn’t like that the first time around. Ain’t going anywhere near them now just because they have a fancy new name.