As I do every year, I am heading to Vegas to make my fortune… and/or lose all the money I bring with me at the penny slot machines. Either way, sun, no snow and good friends to laugh with. It doesn’t get much better. OK, yes, if I win big it would make the week a lot more fun. But either way, did I mention no snow? Continue reading →
It would help if he wasn’t lying
Trump’s supporters say they like him because he tells it like it is and damn the consequences. This would be a lot more credible if ANYTHING coming out of Orangeman’s mouth had even the tiniest relationship to the truth. Alas, it never does. Continue reading →
I thought they were getting along
I was so proud of Nayla and Snowy. Now that she’s been here a few months, they run out into the yard together and stay together instead of instantly splitting to different sides of the yard and barking at the menacing wind. Or, at least I thought I was so proud of them. Until I realized they had carved paths through the snow in the yard and had to stay on the paths so they had no choice but to be together. On either side of them were walls of white that climbed over their heads.
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What is wrong with these drivers
Anchorage roads have been worse than crappy lately… bumpy, slick, lane lines invisible, two lanes down to one… just horrible. And yet for some reason, some people who drive trucks seem to think that they can get through anything if they just continue to speed and weave in and out of traffic while throwing up so much snow that the car behind them has zero visibility.
I realize this is not all truck drivers. Some seem sane and sensible. But there is a segment of the population… let’s call them men of a certain age who still have only a Continue reading →
Shop Nordstrom’s. Piss Orangeman off!
I have never been accused of being fashionable. My idea of dressing up is to put a bra on under my sweatshirt. And of course, in case of an accident, I always wear clean underwear. Mom taught me well on that point.
My mother was a fashionista. Or, at least as much of one as she could be on the very limited income of a grocer’s wife. The day she died, she was packing to go to Europe. We found her bed covered with new clothes she’d laid out for the trip. I, on the other hand, get ready for Continue reading →
Why are these women starving?
I’ve been looking at pictures from New York fashion week and all I can say is, “Will someone please feed those poor girls? They don’t look strong enough to handle the material they are wearing.”
And my second thought is… does anyone in this group design dresses for women who are not a size minus 0?
Listen up, pants designers
Pants without pockets are simply wrong and verge on obscenity. Continue reading →
What is wrong with me
Is it just me or do other people have trouble accepting compliments too? A very nice Episcopal priest stopped me after a funeral to express his feelings that my columns seem to suggest an understanding of the real meaning of Christianity that many who publicly profess it don’t have. Instead of graciously accepting his words, I did what I always do when complimented. I started babbling. In this case, I started babbling about being an atheist. In my head I was saying, “Shut up. Shut up.” But my mouth was just vomiting forth insane sentences and couldn’t be controlled. The Continue reading →
Let’s all shop at Nordstom’s
I went to Nordstrom’s on Friday and bought clothes for my trip to Vegas. Given how often I voluntarily enter a clothing store to buy clothes, this was a special event. It was made even more special by the fact that I kept my middle finger extended to Orangeman the whole time I was in there. I actually bought more stuff than I needed just to keep Nordstrom’s profits rising no matter what that piece of defecated crap says. He may be destroying our country, but at least we can prevent him from destroying Nordstrom’s. Continue reading →
And how was your morning?
Today I got to watch two pigeons woo and then copulate on my back deck while I drank my morning coffee. They seemed happy. Continue reading →