Author: Elise Patkotak

I used to write a humorous column for the paper before each New Year about people and things relegated to my permanent Hall of Infamy. But this year has simply overwhelmed me with so many choices for that honor that I’ve decided to can the whole concept for now.

I can’t wait for 2016 to end, except of course for the fact that 2017 brings the end of my country and our democracy as we’ve known it as Orangeman and his cadre of billionaires and military/industrial generals complete the destruction of all we once held dear.

I still find it Continue reading →

There is a joke in our family about the fact that Sereni’s have no butts. None. Nada. Zilch. The only time one of us ever could lay claim to anything resembling a butt is when my sister was thrown from a horse and her left butt cheek was so swollen it looked like she had at least half of one.

But lo and behold, there is no reason for despair. She butt dialed me last night. So despite the lack of protuberance, even those of us who are butt-less can still make a butt dialed call. Learning this has made Continue reading →

Don’t miss my column in the paper today or on this site tomorrow. It’s about the controversy associated with trying to mainstream special needs children into regular classrooms here in Anchorage.

Also forgot to announce when I moved to this new site that I am now able to take comments from readers. Couldn’t do it before because I had no way of controlling the spam. And really, how many viagra ads does one blog need? But now I can go in and dump the spam and just allow real comments to appear. So yea for progress. Let me know what Continue reading →

And then this most horrible of years will be over. I can’t wait!

Of course, next year brings Orangeman’s inauguration… sigh, what a crappy, crappy way to start the new year. Continue reading →

The three Sereni brothers. Until this past week, I only knew of two of them. My nonno, Primo Sereni is on the right. His brother Adelmo is in the middle. His other brother Silvio is on the left. I never knew about him. Weird the things we continue to find out about ourselves and our ancestors. And yes, this is as close as I get to a Happy Holidays post. Continue reading →

Turned on my iPad. Said it was 11 degrees out. Went to my weather app to see what the future holds and found out that it’s only going as low as 20 today. So I don’t know what the heck that 11 is doing there. Continue reading →

Got my morning coffee and walked back to my bedroom to finish my morning ablutions. I found Snowy sitting in front of my clothes closet. The door was open but it was dark inside. He sat there for at least five minutes without moving, simply staring into the darkness as though he was seeing something the rest of us couldn’t see.

I went into the closet and look for any signs of invasive activity. None to be found. Didn’t faze him at all. He continued to sit staring into the darkness. Maybe he’s decided to start each day with five Continue reading →

A crow crapped on my head yesterday while I was at Bird TLC. I don’t want to say he did it deliberately, but I do think it was suspicious that he took a dump just as I ducked under him to retrieve a meal worm he’d dropped.

As I washed poop out of my hair, I just kept hoping that this was a sign of good luck for the future. Because seriously, if it has no positive meaning, then I’m just some luckless schmuck with crow poop dripping down my back. Continue reading →