Elise Sereni Patkotak

As of midnight tonight, we officially enter the guilt free zone of Thanksgiving eating. May your pants be tight, your stomach be full and your smile be as broad as can be when you rise from your holiday table. And remember, neither carbs, nor fats, nor sugars matter on Thanksgiving. On this one day each year, they all come with only positive health benefits.

Putting your turn signal on AFTER you have squeezed in front of me to pull into my lane despite the snow and ice making the distance between us NOT SAFE, it doesn’t count! Turn signals, as their name implies, signals you want to turn. Put it on BEFORE you turn, you asshole!

If we elect Donald Trump, aside from throwing up in our mouths every time we say the words “President Trump”, we’ll save on a whole salary since that thing living on his head can be his VP. I mean, seriously, who would want to be his running mate?

The weather is so odd. The sky is a grey white. The trees sway in the breeze. The snow has wiped out all color on the ground. It’s like being inside a satin lined coffiin except it’s colder. Yep, all I want to do is recite The Raven or Annabelle Lee.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
“It remains one of our best, and most imaginative, literary magazines.” ——Michael Dirda, The New York Review of Books
Editorial Offices Ronald Spatz, Editor
Alaska literary giants lead the celebration of Alaska Quarterly Review ‘s 33 years of continuous publication with its 2015 Fall & Winter issue.
The edition’s exclusive special feature is “They Were My People” by Alaska’s Pulitzer Prize and Grammy-winning composer John Luther Adams. In this 80-page selection from his upcoming memoir Silences So Deep: A Memoir of Music and Alaska, John Luther Adams writes about his music and deep friendship with conductor and

What more is there to say? Seems as though every week brings another horror, another tragedy. We bomb the crap out of them. They terrorize the crap out of us. And we all do it in the name of a merciful and loving god.

Talk about giving religion a bad name.

Donal Trump running for president with Sarah Palin as his running mate… she’d wear a sash, of course.

Ben Carson… well, doesn’t matter who is running with him, it’s a nightmare.