Elise Sereni Patkotak

Moose visit my yard every winter. They leave large piles of moose nugget jewelry all over my lawn as a present. They rip down limbs from my trees and annoy the heck out of my dog who feels he alone should be allowed to kill the dormant grass with his bodily fluids.

Walks and bike rides are that much more exciting because I never know when and where the moose will show up to make passage along my usual route impossible.  I sometimes think they are having a good joke at my expense by running from one block to the

Ever since 9/11, a lot of pundits have been saying that patriotism is back in vogue.  I personally don’t think it ever went out of vogue. I do think there were attempts to hijack its meaning by some groups that decided if you didn’t agree with them, then you weren’t patriotic. They perhaps felt that patriotism had gone out of vogue because what they saw did not match their definition.

I don’t believe that any one group of people can speak for what is or isn’t patriotic in America.  A country built by rebels on the idea that shaking up

I know that we have all the ducks and geese we need in Anchorage, along with moose and bears and eagles, to name just a few.  But I’ve always thought they were part of what makes Anchorage different from every other American city of its size and age.

Back East, cities don’t share their sidewalks with wildlife – at least, not by the definition we attach to that word.  They are cities that grew up before cars and tend to have large and vibrant centers with massive buildings that create their own modern canyons for walking.  Nature, if found at

When I went to school, the rule was simple. Pass your courses and you passed to the next grade at the end of the school year. Fail and you were held back until you did. 

My parents, and all the parents I knew, thought this was just fine. They felt we were in school to learn and if we didn’t learn, why would we be sent to the next grade.

Now I will be the first to admit that the phrase used for this system – “getting left back” – is probably not the kindest phrase in the world. But

I am, by anyone’s definition, a rabid animal lover.  Probably 90% of my charitable donations, financial or otherwise, go to animal rescue organizations. St. Francis of Assisi is my idea of the perfect man. And to this day I can’t watch Bambi because I get so hysterical at the thought of that little deer being all alone.

I am just as rabid in my belief that owning a companion animal comes with certain responsibilities that are non-negotiable.  You are responsible for seeing that they do not reproduce unless you are breeding them for a specific purpose.  You are responsible for

Do you ever feel as though life is the time you spend in line at the post office and all else is simply a dream?  I do.  I spend a lot of time in post office lines. 

There was a point where I thought I had beaten the curse when I realized there was hardly ever a line at the post office in the Dimond Center.  Then other people discovered my little secret and now there are lines there too. 

Of course, standing in line at the Dimond Center is made a little easier if you go to the Thai

I saw the first Matrix movie because I had a thing for Keanu Reeves.  Now before you go off thinking I’m a dirty old lady, let me explain that the hunk part was less than 50% of the fascination. 

I was more fascinated with what I’d seen of him in a movie called My Private Idaho, a movie done completely in free verse – which is why only about six people in the world including me saw or liked it.

I thought it was a quirky choice for a young actor just coming off the Bob and Ted series and

Well now, here’s one of life’s more amusing moments.  The federal government, that bastion of financial accountability, is questioning whether Alaskan Native non-profit health organizations are making efficient use of their federal dollars and providing quality services. This from the same government that houses the BIA, a group that seems to have misplaced about a gazillion dollars in trust fund moneys they were supposed to be holding for Native American tribes.

And the pundits said that irony would die after 9/11. Clearly they didn’t have enough faith in the feds.

I arrived in Alaska in those faraway days when Alaska

In case those of us with a weight problem didn’t have enough to worry about already, we now find that being overweight also increases our chance of developing certain forms of cancer.  Just when I thought it was safe to attack another cheese cake.

One of the other things that caught my eye in the recent spate of stories about obesity was the issue of the larger portions now served routinely at restaurants, homes and concession stands. I am no slacker in the food consumption category, but even I have to question if anyone can really drink some of those

When I was in kindergarten, I was briefly in the kindergarten band. It consisted of tin horns, a few drums and some triangles.  I was given a triangle. Clearly the nuns had already figured out my spectacular lack of musical ability.  This was confirmed every time the band played and I once again showed I could not even hit the triangle with the little stick in time to the beat.

Up in Barrow, though, there is a mighty band, the Barrow High School Band, with talent and dedication at work on each instrument.  Last month, that band won first place