Do you miss me while I’m on this road trip? If your food is there on time, does it even matter? Are you torturing the dog because there is no one there to say, “Bad birds” when you call him and he thinks it’s me and he tries to find me in the house? Are you shredding and pooping on everything in sight to express your displeasure in the fact that your routine has been disrupted even though Nick gives you a lot of love and attention? These are the thoughts of a mother who leaves her four parrots and one cockatoo for a road trip to Cordova. These are the thoughts of a bird mother who knows payback will be an absolute bitch.