Hi. This is Blue and Blondie. We are writing this for mom because she refuses to get out of bed. She just lies there muttering something about the cold and that people should be allowed to hibernate like bears. Can’t quite catch all she says but every time we wag our tails and make a breeze in her vicinity she yells something about her old bones freezing and pulls the covers up over her head. We are worried about her.
Rumor has it that she once lived in Barrow which, according to what our doggy senses tell us, is way far away in an even colder place. So why won’t she come out from under the covers? Why does she keep muttering, “Not until it’s above zero”? Humans! Go figure. If they had fur like we do, they wouldn’t care how cold it got. We still can’t figure out for the life of us how they got to be the dominant species. Oh, that’s right. They have opposable thumbs.