So there I was, all dressed up – OK, by my standards I was all dressed up, I had put a bra on and everything – and ready to go out to dinner with a friend that I see about once a year. Ten minutes before he arrived, but well after I’d gotten dressed, my dog threw up in HUGE QUANTITIES twice in my office. There is no way to eliminate that odor in ten minutes. There is no way to clean up dog barf one minute and look forward to sushi the next. God just did not mean for me to ever have a social life.