Blondie, god bless her dim little soul, loves to get treats as much as Blue. She just doesn’t particularly want to eat them as much as she wants to parade around with them in her mouth and then coyly hide them in a non-existent patch of grass in the dog yard. Blue, of course, thinks this is the greatest game of hide and seek ever since she doesn’t have to do much searching to find the treat sitting in front of her on the bare ground. So when she goes out at night to do her final business, she always checks for undiscovered treats Blondie may have left.
Last night I was patiently waiting at the door to let her back in from her final nightly ablution but she wasn’t coming. I called once, I called twice. Then I angrily stormed out the door to find her. She was around the side of the house trying to gulp down a stray chew she’d just found that Blondie had left… from the looks of what I could see in her mouth…. many, many days ago. I called again in my not nice voice. Realizing the jig was up and she was going to be forced to come in if she wasn’t doing what she was supposed to be doing, she immediately squatted and peed as slowly as I’ve ever seen a dog pee, all the while still frantically chewing and swallowing the treat.
I don’t know how she did it, but she actually managed to finish peeing and eating that damned chew at exactly the same time, at which point she casually raised herself up from her squatting position, looked at me with some level of disdain, and sashayed by me into the house.
And I wonder why I don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell with these girls….