I sweep around my birds’ cages twice a day, not because I like sweeping but because of the unfortunate correlation between the number of birds that you have and the amount of bird seed that is scattered across your floor every day. Since I have enough pets without adding field mice enjoying the bird diet on the floor, I am fanatical about doing this chore.
My two dogs, lord love them, have not in all their years living here gotten used to this. So every time I turn the sweeper on, they go on alert. These two old girls stand shoulder to shoulder ready to protect home and hearth from the dreaded sucking monster. They plant their front feet firmly on the Pergo and defy the monster to try to cross them. They are very careful to not make a sound while doing this for fear they might actually attract the sucking monster towards them.
And then, no matter how fierce they look or how quiet they’ve been, there comes the moment when the sucking monster turns their way and they back off in a bloody panic, banging and shoving each other in their attempt to retreat first.
Alas, Pergo makes a rapid escape look like a scene from the Keystone Kops. Legs scramble on floors, feet slip out from under, whole rear ends get twisted and slumped over. Eventually both make it to the safety of the living room where, alas, only Blondie is still nimble enough to jump up on the couch for safety. Blue hunkers up against the couch hoping in vain that if the sucking monster heads her way, Blondie will find the courage to come down and help.
Never gonna happen.