Every once in a while when I think the world of politics is going to drive me mad… ok, madder… something happens in the commercials realm that proves to me that politicians and government do not have the monopoly on idiocy.
I tried to pay my credit card bill online recently. A message popped up that denied me access because there was a “problem”. Since I’d just spent a larger amount than normal at a home improvement store, I thought maybe they were being cautious about my card’s continued safety.
I called the number given for problems, then entered every number that has ever been part of my life, including my elementary school GPA, and faithfully followed them up with the pound sign. I was eventually treated to a long mechanized message.
Then I sat on hold for ten minutes listening to music. A real person finally came online and made me repeat most of the information I had just entered into my phone pad. When I explained why I was calling, the service rep told me that my credit card had been reported stolen two days ago and that’s why I couldn’t get in to pay it.
I think the headache started around then.
Why, I asked, was I just allowed to charge a couple of thousand dollars on my “stolen” credit card but not allowed to pay the bill. All things being equal, if my card had been stolen, I would have much preferred that they stopped the charging but allowed someone else to feel free to pay my bill.
That’s when I got disconnected.
So I called again. Only this time I refused to be a patsy to their corporate bullying. Instead of entering all the numbers requested, I kept hitting the 0 key. I hit it and hit it and hit it until a voice came on and said I was being transferred to a company representative. That person eventually came on to explain to me that my card hadn’t so much been reported stolen as it had been put on fraud alert – over a week ago. This is apparently done when a vendor reports that their security might have been compromised.
So, I said, you didn’t tell me about the fraud alert (apparently a letter was in the mail), allowed charges to continue to accrue, but drew the line at letting me pay my bill. Interesting set of priorities.
I was then cheerfully informed that a new credit card was on its way. Really, I said. And would that new credit card have the same expiration date as the old one. Absolutely, said the disembodied voice. Only the numbers have changed to protect your finances. Well, I said as my head threatened to explode, the expiration date is in less than six months. This means I will have to call every vendor who bills my card automatically for monthly expenses and give them my new number. Then, in about three months when the new expiration date is issued, I get to call them all back again. Do I have that right?
The disembodied voice answered yes but there was a definite waver in his voice where there had once been absolute assurance. Please pass me on to your supervisor, I said in as calm a voice as possible.
The supervisor got on the phone and started asking me to once again confirm my age, birth date, social security number, IQ, zip code from when I lived in NYC in 1972 and my great-grandmother’s maiden name. Then she told me she couldn’t change the expiration date. I said that if she couldn’t, then she should give me to her supervisor. She said she was the supervisor. I said that unless she was president and CEO of the company, I was pretty sure she had someone above her.
And lo and behold, the miracle of Christmas 2010 happened and I was issued a new expiration date.
So why did my head still want to explode?