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I will never make this mistake again

Apparently I rolled over in bed last night and in doing so, rolled over on Carm’s Santa toy, also known as his obsession. I know this because I awoke to what I thought was a strange buzzing in my ear. As I came to, I realized it was a soft growling. Carm was standing on me and staring at the spot where Santa had once laid but now my belly was firmly ensconced. Since I couldn’t feel Santa under my belly, I couldn’t figure out why Carm was acting in a way that made me fear he had lost his mind. I turned over to confront him and he leaped to save his Santa before the white whale that is my belly fell down on it again.

Who says you have to sleep with a man to have interesting times in bed?