According to Don Young, he will answer questions about his legal battles and finances only from his constituents. To be one of his constituents, you apparently had to have voted for him. I didn’t vote for him. Does this mean I have no representative in the House of Congress? Does this make me a free agent who can pick a representative from anywhere to be mine? Does this make Don Young unfit to hold public office?
And how do you wake up in the morning?
I wake up with a dog on either side of me. No, they don’t sleep there all night. They get up on the bed and in position when they think it’s about time to rise and shine. If I want to sleep in even the slightest, I have to remain absolutely still and give no evidence whatsoever that I am awake. So there I lay, arms going numb, bladder full, wondering if I can possibly fall back to sleep in that level of discomfort or whether I should just get up and start the day. And somehow they know. They
Here’s the thing
I am destined to never be the person walking down the road with a dog under perfect control even without a leash. I saw such a person today on my walk and envied him. His dog walked by his side carrying a toy in his mouth. The man had but to move his hand slightly and the dog instantly obeyed. My dogs, meanwhile, were pulling and twisting on the leash while I slipped and slid on the ice yelling, “Girls, be good. Stop it. Don’t trip me. You’re getting the leash twisted.” and perhaps some other language best not repeated.
It’s Oscar day!
It’s Oscar night, my favorite night of the year. I sit in my easy chair in my nightie, no bra, no makeup, a bowl of popcorn at hand, and pick the gown I am most glad I’m not wearing because it looks so uncomfortable to hold my breath that long. Every time a winning gown shows up on the TV, I take a swig of juice, a handful of popcorn and thank god I was born without talent.
Getting sick and older
I sat there in a chair at the clinic and the PA said to me, “This low blood pressure could be the start of congestive heart failure.” I was completely insulted. Congestive heart failure is what happens to old people. Then I checked my birth date. Damned if I don’t qualify.
Oh yeah, it wasn’t congestive heart failure.
This weather sucks
No one should have to endure breakup more than once a year. So why is my front yard an icy swimming pool? C’mon, god. It’s bad enough you created breakup, but to do it to us twice in a year is simply wrong.
Across the Universe
Anyone who even drew one breath in the sixties should see this movie for the soundtrack alone. I was a basket case while Let It Be was being sung. Wow.
My little blue box
Every year this time as I prepare my paperwork for my taxes, I go to my little blue plastic file box and pull out the wads of receipts, bills, notices, rabies shots records and check stubs and think of my friend Janis. Despite the fact that I now have an office with two full filing cabinets that could probably organize everything so that sorting things out wasn’t so difficult each year, I still find myself stuffing all my probably important papers I might need for my taxes into the same blue plastic file box that she picked out for me
My dirty little secret
After every awards show of any kind, the E channel carries a fashion critique show of what everyone wore. I watch those shows faithfully, guiltily, with a secret pleasure that is hard to explain. No, that’s not true. The guilty pleasure is not hard to explain. I love watching people wearing things that my mother would have thrown herself in front of a train before letting me out of the house in get praised for being “fashion forward” and “fresh”. Some of the outfits I understand and might be tempted to wear if I were 100 pounds lighter, 60 years
There should be two sections
Pharmacies should have two sections. One with medicine bottles headed for a home with children. By all means, put every kind of safeguard you can think on them to childproof them. Of course, my belief in the ingenuity of children of this great country of ours will be sorely tested if they aren’t able to open them all way before their parents figure out how to do it. But that’s besides the point. The other section should consist of drugs for homes without children but with old farts like me who spend an inordinate amount of time looking for old