Author: admin

My mom’s mom died when I was only about nine years old. All my memories of her and her home involve opera on the radio in the background. I guess for an Italian immigrant at that time, opera was the popular music of the day on the radio. Certainly my grandmother would not have ever gotten into rock and roll. Even Sinatra probably came across as a bit unseemly to her.

So now I am trying to learn to appreciate opera by putting the TV on to the all-opera-all-the-time channel for my birds during the day. I don’t know if

You would think at some point my dog Blue would be embarrassed to be walking around with bird poop on her head. But she isn’t. I try to tell Abdul it’s not nice to lure Blue under her cage by dropping food and then takling aim and pooping once Blue is occupied sucking up all the loose seeds. But Abdul is obviously amused by the whole process. And Blue walks around shaking her head because there always seems to be sticky stuff on it that’s dripping on to her face.  And that, in turn, makes me very careful to check

I drank iced tea at dinner last night without remembering the caffeine content.  At three this morning I was trying to convince my dogs to wake up and play with me. They were not amused. Blue got up from my bed in a very disgruntled manner and moved downstairs. (Shades of my marriage!) Blondie refused to even lift her head off the couch and pretend that she heard me. So I was forced to lie in bed and wonder when I lost control of the pets in my life. And then the answer came to me.  I never had it.

I took our family’s Easter ricotta pie recipe and tried to make it diabetic friendly by taking out the rice, not using a crust and substituting fake sugar.  And I’m here to tell you, it’s just not the same.  Not even if I close my eyes and wish really, really hard. Pie without crust, it turns out, is not really a pie and not really a cake and not really something that holds together outside of the pan. But it makes great ricotta pudding.

The more I read about the dire predictions for earth’s immediate future, the more I am amazed at the fact that Kevin Costner might have been way ahead of his time with Waterworld. That statement alone probably indicates the end of the world as we know it.

I had to take a cab to an eye doc’s appointment this week because I can’t see to drive back after they’ve dilated my eyes. When the cab picked me up, the driver commented that it was raining all over town but when he turned down the road to my house, he noticed the rain turned to snow. He thought that was odd. I think it’s just cruel and that god will have a lot to answer for when I get to wherever it is I go after I die.

For some reason, last night I went to a website that let me play Dean Martin singing That’s Amore. The next thing I know, I was singing as loud as I could while my bird Abdul looked at me like he suddenly realized he was in a locked room with a mad woman.  Which he kind of was.  But I didn’t care. I didn’t care that I couldn’t carry a tune with a wheelbarrow’s assistance or that I stumbled over half the words.  Because suddenly I was back in my Italian childhood in Ducktown in Atlantic City and it was

I looked into the mirror this morning and saw the shadow of a mustache on my upper lip. It was then that I realized I’d totally skipped my mother and morphed into my grandmother.  Now all I need are black orthopedic shoes, a black dress and an apron for the transformation to be complete. I am a nona.

John McCain has gone completely insane and Hillary Clinton now has enough money to buy the White House.  It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.

If there is any doubt that Karl Rove deserves to go to hell for eternity, it was wiped away by the sight of him rapping and doing what I can only assume he thought was rap dancing in a tuxedo.  They may have to legalize a lot more drugs to help me move past this moment.  I wake up screaming in the night. My eyes…my eyes… NOTE TO ALL MIDDLE AGED AND OLDER WHITE MEN IN DC – YOU CANNOT RAP. YOU CAN BARELY DANCE.  YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN’T RAP AND DANCE AT THE SAME TIME.

And, may I add, BRING