Author: admin

Who’d have thought we’d live to see the day when I handle my finances better that both Wall Street and the Federal Government. Mind you, I don’t have more money than any of them, but what I do have balances out at the end of every month while meeting my needs. Maybe I can offer them a seminar?

The pictures of Paris Hilton posing with her bleeding boyfriend on a stretcher behind her are some of the funniest things I’ve ever seen. That girl truly does have the depth and breath of a flattened moth wing.

My grandparents sent their children to public school because they couldn’t afford anything else. As Italian immigrants who were mostly illiterate, they were thrilled that their children were receiving an education. They figured they could handle the religious stuff at home.

When I was growing up, my parents made a different choice. They sent my brother, my sister and me to exclusively Catholic schools. They didn’t have a lot of spare cash, and sometimes the parish kicked in that year’s tuition if they were short. But one way or another, all three of us were in Catholic school from pre-kindergarten

I am no longer responsible for my questionable fashion choices. I went to get my eyes refracted to find out that I’ve lost not only my night vision but a lot of depth perception and color vision. So despite the fact that my sister insists on pointing out that my fashion sense preceded my eye issues, that’s where I’m placing the blame. You can’t expect me to put things together tastefully if I can neither see them in their true colors, their true depths or at night.

And now it’s time for Fashion Police.

I was putting my bird back in his cage. The door he uses is at the top of the cage and folds out. He got in and before I could secure it, had a spat with his cage mate causing him to fall backwards into the unsecured door which flew open and nailed me right on the bridge of my nose.

May I just say two things here. One… OUCH@!  And two… damn noses bleed a lot.

So I’m watching the Oscars and the first few notes of Memories play, the curtain rises, Barbra Streisand comes out and by the time she’s finished singing the second note, I am sobbing like a baby who’s had the teat ripped from my mouth and I’m still hungry. Cried through the whole song. What the hell?

Quite honestly, the best part about the Oscars is looking at the outfits and wondering what Joan Rivers will say about them on Fashion Police. The amazing part is that someone with my vision problems can look at those outfits and understand completely why Joan trashes them. Once again, as my mother used to say, don’t you have a mirror in your house to look in before you go out?

Are you ready? For the Oscars, of course. I’m shinning up my tiara and washing my bathrobe so we are all ready for the festivities. Let the boobs pop where the may. I’m ready.

Oh yeah – best drinking game ever…. take a gulp every time a winner thanks their god (as opposed to your god) for making them beautiful and talented. It’s what god lives for.

You know you’re tuning in to too much ID channel programming when you’re watching a seemingly very nice male contestant on Wheel of Fortune and you find yourself wondering if he’s a secret pervert or killer.

Since my late teens, the Democratic Party has been the party of disarray and confusion. It was the party that self-immolated at every turn. It gave new meaning to the phrase, “Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory”. So you can imagine how upside down my world seems right now given that the Republican Party has decided to emulate the Democrats and, at the rate they’re going, planning to be the all time champs in the dysfunctional political party world of America.

Think about it. How dysfunctional do you have to be to give more money to the man who