Author: admin

Without a doubt, The Price is Right. When they call a contestant and the audience starts to scream, Abdul, my African Grey, goes nuts. He screams and laughs and screams some more. Which gets Captain (Amazon parrot) screaming too. At this point, CB (Bare-eyed Cockatoo) climbs into her sleep box and pretends she doesn’t know them. She has such class for a bird willing to copulate in public every morning.

If someone gave me millions of dollars and I blew it with no discernible results, I highly doubt if a few months later they’d turn around and give me more. The fact that the money men are giving Rove more cash for his new PAC is proof that the Republican Party has reached that stage of crazed where they keep doing the same thing over and over hoping for a different result. Someone get them golf pants and Metamucil and send them to Florida.

Having rediscovered it in the cabinet above the stove, I am attempting to work my way through the recipes, some vaguely familiar, some leaving me to wonder if I’d ever actually tasted it before. I just wish the recipes did not contain the phrases, “Put enough in to taste right. You’ll know.”, or “Add as much as needed”, or “Use you’re head! You’ll know when it’s enough”. Yep, you’ve got to love family recipes based on measurements that include, “a small hand full”, “a large hand full”, and “about the size of your fingernail”. What could possibly go wrong.

If I could see what they see, then I wouldn’t worry so much about my dogs barking at a blank wall in the living room. I’m sure in their eyes, something is visible. At least, that’s what I have to believe.

The MIss America Pageant is returning to the Boardwalk Convention Hall in Atlantic City this year after its multi year exile in Vegas. I grew up down the block from Convention Hall. I remember watching the Miss America Pageant and feeling so inadequate I wanted to die. I just knew I’d never be pretty enough or thin enough or talented enough. I mean, once you’ve had a one armed baton twirler, there is no up to go.

So I’m glad Miss America is returning to Atlantic City so that other girls growing up there have a chance to have an

I got this yesterday and can only hope I’ll stop crying by next week.



I Defied Her Rules

Some 28 years ago I went to visit a friend at her office.  She was Barrow’s only social worker back then. 

I got a chuckle when I noticed a yellow lined legal paper taped to the entrance of her office.

It was a hand written columnar sign-up sheet for interested persons who would like to become foster parents and adoptive parents. 

I was amused because the sign-up sheet was mostly bare.

To boot, it was scratch paper.

I took a pen and

I am still not sure how a saint who was killed by arrows while tied to a tree became a symbol of love. Maybe the ex-pope can work something up on that while he’s in retirement.

BTW… best pope joke yet – and I can’t remember if I heard it on Letterman or the Daily show – “The pope is retiring for health reasons. He sprained his neck from spending so much time looking the other way.”

Why is it that if I dressed anywhere near the way people dress for events like the Grammy’s, my mother would return from heaven and beat me about my face and head with a fresh baked loaf of Panarelli’s bread?

Two months before my trip to Vegas and I have been in intense e-mail communication with the rest of the “girls” over where we will be having our group dinner.  Two months! And in my head I hear my dad saying to my mom, as she settled in after cleaning up after dinner to watch I Love Lucy, “So what do you want to have for dinner tomorrow night, Bud?”. Her response was usually along the lines of a request to let the current dinner digest before even attempting that conversation.

Yep, it’s all dad’s fault. It’s his genes that

You know you have gone around the bend with your pets when your local pet food emporium sends you a get well card signed by the entire staff who miss seeing you in the store.