Author: admin

… who wants to stand up and scream at all the conservative politicians, “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY VAGINA!”.

My dog may need an MRI. If she does, I will do it no matter the cost, even though I know as I write those words that my grandmother is looking down from heaven with a look of horror on her face.

You do what you gotta!

If there was any doubt that Stephen Colbert has become the cultural, political and otherwise arbiter for the new generation, it was resolved when guest Nancy Pelosi was followed the next night by Placido Domingo. Wow.

Obama has handed the Republicans a plateful of election issues that could destroy his re-election campaign. Instead of focusing on them, the Republicans are playing religious morality police like some western versions of the Ayatollahs of Iran. Seriously, do they even have a clue?

I think Alec Baldwin is great to watch as an actor and talk show guest. So why do I also think he’d be an insufferable and obnoxious friend in real life?

If he’s ever interested in a slightly older, somewhat out of any shape woman who thinks he’s the sexiest thing since Gibbs, have him call me. In fact, I would actually toss Gibbs over the side for Ricky. Can’t resist the evil twinkle in his eyes.

Can you feel the excitement? Only five more days until the Oscars. Shine the tiara. Get the clean t-shirt and sweat pants ready and turn on the margarita maker. Billy is back. What more needs to be said… well, unless we could say that Ricky Gervais was hosting in which case I’d have to buy a new tiara to celebrate. But those people simply don’t have the guts to do that.

So the latest political thinking is that if the Republicans end up at their convention without a clear nominee and the decision has to be brokered, our dear gal, Temporary Sal, will heroically offer herself up as the candidate. God, just think of it. Santorum, Gingrich or Palin… the columns write themselves. And Obama waltzes into a second term. 

You know you’re an Alaskan if you see a headline stating that one or the other house of congress has passed a bill to open ANWR and your only reaction is to mentally count just how many times you’ve seen that exact same headline over the past 40 years and you go back to eating breakfast knowing the bill will never actually open ANWR.

Usually my parrot Captain, a male, struts around his cage showing off that he’s in charge and CB, his female cockatoo mate, lets him. The key word there is “lets”. I don’t know what he did recently to piss her off but for the past two days he has clung to the top of the cage where he can’t reach his favorite food… or any food for that matter… until such time as CB climbs up to her perch and he feels it’s safe to come down. This means she gets all the nuts and bananas and AviCakes first and