Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Friday, June 24, 2016

I will revel in the peace and quiet of the weekend knowing that on Monday The Family descends on me for a week. My house if clean, my fence is straight, my porch has flowers and my refrigerator has milk for the boys.
Come on in, Mushovics! My home is anxiously awaiting you.

Elise Patkotak • 03:39 AM •
Wednesday, June 22, 2016

I’ll have Kodi, the Cache Crow, at the Botanical Gardens tomorrow from 12:30 until 2. Stop by and say hi. Bring lots of dollar bills. He needs to work for a living and can’t do that without your help. Kodi also graciously accepts fives, tens, twenties and hundreds, so don’t feel shy about giving him some big bills.

Elise Patkotak • 03:37 AM •
Tuesday, June 21, 2016

It’s hot, sunny and beautiful all week and then gets cold, cloudy and rainy on the weekends.
Maybe we picked the wrong days to use as the weekends.

Elise Patkotak • 03:33 AM •
Monday, June 20, 2016

Call the legislature back in session immediately. I can already smell them here. Bring them back to Juneau and clear our air.
Sorry Juneau.

Elise Patkotak • 03:32 AM •
Friday, June 17, 2016

Last night I reached up to turn off the reading lights over my bed and was struck with the realization that, except for a few brief years, these lamps have lit my night since I was three years old. When I left home, I left them behind. When my mother decided to redecorate, she was going to toss them. I had her send them to me instead. They are absolutely from the fifties - square box with glass front on which a ballerina dances - and in great shape except for a small spot where my mother washed the paint away from the ballerina’s feet because she thought it was dirt.
The only thing in this world that has been around me longer than these lights is my brother. I can still see under the lights where the switch is and find my name as I wrote it in pencil over sixty years ago. All I have to do is see that and I am instantly back in my childhood. It’s a great way to fall asleep.

Elise Patkotak • 03:38 AM •

I am fascinated with the discussion about Trump having his finger on the nuclear arsenal’s go button. I am fascinated at the debate and discussion over how he couldn’t push the button on his own because of all the safeguards built into the system.
But what I find most fascinating is that the Republicans have nominated someone to carry their presidential campaign banner who has necessitated this discussion.
Every time I think we’ve reached bottom, the floor opens up and shows us that we aren’t even close.

Elise Patkotak • 03:00 AM •
Wednesday, June 15, 2016

A study has shown that chronic pot users have a higher incident of gum disease than the general population. Whew! I knew if they looked hard enough they’d find something. Sadly for all the doomsayers in the group, that’s the only thing found. Other than that, pot users not only didn’t have any diseases specifially related to use but actually showed some health benefits.
So by all means, let’s keep alcohol and tobacco legal but pot illegal.
Whoever came up with this crap?

Elise Patkotak • 03:25 AM •
Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Today is/was my parents’ wedding anniversary. I don’t know why I always remember this. I just do.

Elise Patkotak • 03:24 AM •
Monday, June 13, 2016

So it was a mostly gorgeous weekend here in Anchorage. I stayed inside the entire time except for an eagle release I attended. I was very happy. In fact, the only place I can say I ever really wanted to be outside was in the Arctic. The minute I set foot in the Arctic so many decades ago, it felt as though I was taking my first deep breath ever. I was home. And now I’m done with being outside. While the sun shone and the neighbor kids played, I did an hour on my stationary bike inside and was quite content.
I don’t care if it is weird.

Elise Patkotak • 03:21 AM •
Friday, June 10, 2016

No, not Trump’s hair or suspiciously tiny hands. No, what I am sick and tired of is this new look of see through dresses and skirts and boobs so pushed up and out and then taped like a prisoner of war. Either go naked or wear clothes. But naked clothes are so over. I don’t want to see you ass sticking out from under a see through pair of pants. I don’t want to see side boob. I don’t want a slit that goes up the vagina.
Wow. I really needed to get that off my chest.

Elise Patkotak • 11:31 AM •
Wednesday, June 08, 2016

Ahchoo. Ahchoo. Ahchool.
Son of a bitch. Where’s the cold and snow that will kill these living things that are trying to kill me?

Elise Patkotak • 03:29 AM •
Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Watching Republicans try to support Trump while disavowing everything he says and does. I didn’t think that even politicians could twist themselves up so much. More in my column on Thursday.

Elise Patkotak • 03:20 AM •
Monday, June 06, 2016

I woke up to the sound of rain, a pleasant change from the constant sunshine we’ve been having. My lawn and lilac bushes look very happy about it. My dogs, not so much. They went out very reluctantly and came back as quick as they could empty those little bladders. They are taking the pouring rain VERY personally.

Elise Patkotak • 10:55 AM •
Sunday, June 05, 2016

I actually have a contractor building my front porch who shows up every day early in the morning, works until five and is here every day.
I didn’t think this type of contractor actually existed. I’m used to the ones who show up for two hours a few times a week and tell you they’ll be right back. But they never are.
Anyhow, don’t even ask me his name. It’s a secret until all my projects are completed.

Elise Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Saturday, June 04, 2016

Come on out to Potter’s Marsh Day today at… where else… Potter’s Marsh. I’ll be there in the afternoon with Kodi, our Cache Crow. Bring your dollar bills. Kodi loves to cache them!

Elise Patkotak • 03:48 AM •

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