Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Saturday, July 04, 2015

Marriage is equal across the board, health care is available to millions of Americans, Donald Trump is running for president… it’s a great time to be American!

Elise Patkotak • 03:42 AM •
Friday, July 03, 2015

The bride was beautiful, the groom was handsome, the nephews were absolutely adorable… and most important, today I head home after being away way too long. Alaska, I’m heading your way!

Elise Patkotak • 03:35 AM •
Wednesday, July 01, 2015

I’m not sure there is anyone in the history of the world who has had less luck, whether it be in a casino at a slot machine or buying a raffle ticket. The one time I left Vegas with more than I’d arrived with, I got home and my hot water heater exploded. Cost me three times what I thought I’d won.
While visiting my sister in Atlantic City, I played the slots one night and might as well have just handed my money to the cashier and gone for a sub. The casino got it all anyway. And tonight I will be staying at a casino in California. There goes another $40 down the drain.
The only way I handle this great streak of losing is by reminding myself that I have so much to be grateful for in my life that many losing at gambling is the price I pay. But really god, I couldn’t hit the jackpot just once without some concomitant disaster happening at home? Would that really be so terrible?

Elise Patkotak • 03:27 AM •

I’m not sure there is anyone in the history of the world who has had less luck, whether it be in a casino at a slot machine or buying a raffle ticket. The one time I left Vegas with more than I’d arrived with, I got home and my hot water heater exploded. Cost me three times what I thought I’d won.
While visiting my sister in Atlantic City, I played the slots one night and might as well have just handed my money to the cashier and gone for a sub. The casino got it all anyway. And tonight I will be staying at a casino in California. There goes another $40 down the drain.
The only way I handle this great streak of losing is by reminding myself that I have so much to be grateful for in my life that many losing at gambling is the price I pay. But really god, I couldn’t hit the jackpot just once without some concomitant disaster happening at home? Would that really be so terrible?

Elise Patkotak • 03:27 AM •
Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Once more I am heading to an airport to fly all day to get to a very important event. And once again my normally sunny disposition will be clouded by the indignities of what passes for flying today. I must steel myself for 7 hours of elbows in my ribs, leg room meant for a three year old and exorbitant charges for my audacity in thinking I should be able to bring a suitcase with me for a trip.
Oh god, oh god!

Elise Patkotak • 03:24 AM •
Monday, June 29, 2015

I get that the Republican party has no real front runner to be the natural pick for presidential candidate but even so, isn’t it getting a bit ridiculously crowded? How to tell them all apart is the hardest thing What a cluster f..k their primaries will be. At least it will keep me from dwelling on how boring the Dems nomination proceedings will be. 

Elise Patkotak • 05:21 AM •
Friday, June 26, 2015

They stacked the Supremes with conservatives and now have to live with the consequences. My heart is filled with joy for all my gay friends who are finally able to express their love and devotion to each other like straight people have for centuries. And my heart breaks with sadness for so many gay friends I’ve lost who are not around to see this day… especially those two special Joe’s in my life.

Elise Patkotak • 05:59 AM •
Thursday, June 25, 2015

I am traveling and somehow got locked out of my website. Anyone who knows me will find that perfectly understandable. Thanks to that wonderful lady Sonya Senkowsky for getting me back on.
I have been posting on Facebook so you can go to my Facebook page… which anyone can see because I honestly have neither the strength nor interest to try and figure out how to put privacy controls on it… and catch up on what’s been happening.
Thanks for being patient - assuming of course there is anyone left checking out this site. Oh wait, I know how to make that happen.
Sarah Palin Sarah Palin Sarah Palin

Elise Patkotak • 06:00 AM •
Friday, June 12, 2015

Carm has been pissed since the suitcase came out. He is now hiding under the desk, refusing all calls to come out for treats or hugs. I’m probably lucky he hasn’t peed on it… hmmm, maybe I should check on that…

Elise Patkotak • 03:54 AM •
Wednesday, June 10, 2015

I depart today on the first part of my journey to the East Coast. I used to do this in one day, leaving at 1 or 2 AM and arriving the next evening on the East Coast. But those days are long past. Now I go to Seattle and spend the night in a hotel in a real bed. Then I take the non-stop Alaska Airlines flight to Philly the next morning. It cost more this way but when I land in Philly I am a pleasant person… well, as pleasant as I ever am. Mostly I’m not a misery from trying to get comfortable in a plane seat that was clearly meant for your smaller sized midgets, dwarfs and three year old children.

Elise Patkotak • 03:26 AM •
Tuesday, June 09, 2015

My new used TV is dramatically larger than any tv I’ve ever had. In fact, it’s almost as large as the screens in what now pass for movie theaters. I can watch TV from almost anywhere on my second floor without really having to either turn my head or squint. I think back to those little screens of my childhood and wonder how I ever survived without being able to see exactly how many pores there are on Mark Harmon’s face.

Elise Patkotak • 03:24 AM •
Monday, June 08, 2015

OK, Alaska. I have found a company that actually includes Alaska in its sales pitch when it says free shipping.
http://www.wayfair.com
The lady said that not all items may be covered by this policy but they are sending me a mailbox for the cost of the box plus free shipping. I even called the 800 number to be sure I had it right. I guess there are some places in the lower 48 that understand we are part of the CONTINENTAL United States.

Elise Patkotak • 03:12 AM •
Sunday, June 07, 2015

Why is it that whenever we picture aliens we picture them green? Is this some prehistoric memory wired into our genes or do we just think green is a weird color?

Elise Patkotak • 03:38 AM •
Saturday, June 06, 2015

So the TSA all but strip searches me at the airport and manages to confiscate my deadly bottle of hand cream but they miss the weapons and grenades being brought in as a test of their competency. Yep. Makes me feel perfectly safe flying. Violated, but safe and with only slightly chapped hands.

Elise Patkotak • 03:31 AM •
Friday, June 05, 2015

So our august legislators feel that since layoff notices went out on Monday to state employees, they have no deadline for passing a budget. Hmmm. At what point did they ever worry about deadlines? They blew past the time they should have been in session. They blew past the deadline for their first special session. And now they’ve blown past the deadline that would have avoided layoff notices. Yeah, I don’t think this group ever really gave a crap about any deadline. On the other hand, if closing state government because no budget was passed impacted their receiving their per diem checks on time, I bet we’d have a budget instantly.

Elise Patkotak • 03:36 AM •

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