Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
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Someone has clearly just told this child that Uncle Sam is taking money from her parents today that could more appropriately be spent on making the grinning man behind her go away so she can eat in peace.
Yes, that darling face of worry and pain comes from my gene pool. She has clearly inherited the joy of Zeccardidom in its entirety. Her father’s genes never stood a chance against it.
My brother, on the other hand, clearly inherited the happy Sereni genes. They seem to dominate after the daily wine allotment has been consumed.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:24 AM •
Tuesday, April 15, 2014

If I wasn’t going to vote for Mark Begich before, I am now just to annoy whoever it is (Koch brothers) running those incessant ads that make me want to run screaming from the room. It must be nice to be so rich you can buy the majority of airtime available on any given channel to run half truths and outright lies. Yep, politics continues to be the sleaziest business in town. Sorry Whitekeys. The Fly By Night Club at its sleaziest could not hold a candle to the political sleaze already evident this campaign season.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:39 AM •
Monday, April 14, 2014

I have a robin that sits atop my bird feeder every day sunning herself. It is the fattest robin I have ever seen. If it gets any fatter, it will have to take the bus instead of flying to its nest. This momma is fat, happy and ready for the kids to come. The problem is that her girth may make that nest crash to the ground. I will try to get a picture but she is very camera shy. The minute she sees me lurking at the window, she politely poos and then flies off. But I will continue with my efforts to document the ROBINZILLA.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:55 AM •
Sunday, April 13, 2014

When I heard that David Letterman was ending his late night show, my heart was broken. I’ve followed him forever and couldn’t even imagine watching anyone else. And then Stephen Colbert was picked for his replacement and my late nights are safe again. Welcome aboard, Stephen. I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with late night. I know it will be amazing and another reason to stay up late.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:04 AM •
Saturday, April 12, 2014

Last night on TV there were four… count them, FOUR… political ads in a row either touting Begich or burning him. Do those people who put the ads on realize just how annoying it is to have it starting so early and be so persistent. At this point, I’d vote for Begich just to annoy all those assholes.  And now it’s on my words with friends ads too. Is there no place left in the world to hide?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 04:27 AM •
Friday, April 11, 2014
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Since voting has now become a somewhat useless exercise given that corporations will be able to easily buy whatever politicians they choose, instead of bothering with election day, the corporations will unveil our new leaders in spiffy Superbowl ads. That will get the word out to more Americans than any other method and they can learn something while eating nachos and watching sports. It’s a win-win for everyone. Thanks Supremes!

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:16 AM •
Tuesday, April 08, 2014

It’s one thing to have left overs when you eat out from home. You can always get the remainder to go and have it for lunch the next day. But what do you do when on vacation and those big servings come at you that you can’t possibly finish? My friends and I found the answer while in Vegas. We asked for the leftovers to go and requested some plastic utensils so we could eat it in our rooms later. Then we went outside and handed the food to the first homeless person we saw. Food not wasted. Homeless person eating steak from a Ramsey restaurant… what’s not to like?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:12 AM •
Monday, April 07, 2014
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:28 AM •
Sunday, April 06, 2014

No need to go vote. Thanks to the Supremes, we just have to check in with our multinational corporations and they’ll tell us who will be our elected officials. Thanks guys. I needed those fifteen extra minutes freed up to beat my head against the wall to ease the pain of watching American democracy die.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:31 AM •
Saturday, April 05, 2014

There’s been an uptick in spam mail. This seems to happen periodically. I open my e-mail thinking 21 people have contacted me only to find that 17 of them want to offer me A. money for which I only have to send them some first B. drugs cheaper than I can buy on the street C. penis pills.  Really? This is what our great civilization has come to? What a disappointment.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:24 AM •
Friday, April 04, 2014

Boy reality sucks after the plasticity of Vegas. But… given that I don’t have enough money left to buy myself a latte, I guess I’d better get back to churning out the words on my computer. God I wish I’d been smart enough to find a really rich man to provide for all my wants and needs. Instead, I have ten animals hoping I can still buy their kibble. I did NOT intend life to turn out this way. I was going to be young and beautiful and rich and famous… all before I was 30 so I could retire and just enjoy life afterwards. Can’t figure out when I lost track of that plan…

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:43 AM •
Thursday, April 03, 2014

No column from the paper this week on the blog. I was too busy losing my shirt at the penny slots. Now heading back to Anchorage, poorer and no wiser. I’ll come back next year and do the exact same thing.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:41 AM •
Wednesday, April 02, 2014

I’m in Vegas losing a year’s worth of savings and having a great time. How did Vegas ever survive financially before Janis, Kate and I started coming every year for a girls’ week where we promise to lose every cent we bring with us on the penny slots?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:39 AM •
Tuesday, April 01, 2014
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:10 AM •

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