Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Friday, December 19, 2014

Yesterday, my dogs attended a doggie birthday party at Happy Dog Day Camp. I supplied some snacks. They brought their unlimited enthusiasm. And as I drove away, I thought that probably my nonna, wherever she may be, is spinning madly in total disbelief.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:16 AM •
Wednesday, December 17, 2014

How many times can you hear the same Christmas carols without wanting to run naked into the icy night to make the pain stop?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:16 AM •
Tuesday, December 16, 2014

How can I be such an amazing chef for main meals but suck the big one when it comes to deserts? I am totally incapable of getting it right… ever!

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:17 AM •
Saturday, December 13, 2014

For years, whenever I had something big that needed to go into the trash can upstairs in my kitchen, I would instead walk it right down to the garbage can outside because I didn’t want to fill up the trash can too quickly. If I did, I reasoned, that would mean extra trips to the garbage can to empty it. Except, of course, it occurred to me today that I make so many more extra trips bringing the big things down to the garbage can that I was probably doing more than if I just dumped it in the upstairs trash can in the first place. All of which is to say that it is not easy to be an obsessive compulsive, especially when you so understand why what you are doing is crazy but you keep on doing it.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:30 AM •
Friday, December 12, 2014

Today I learned that Reisling is not a beer. I learned that when the nice man at the liquor store explained to me that wine doesn’t come in a six pack.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:28 AM •
Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Because their computer system is older than dirt and every time I go there they tell me I don’t own my e-mail address even though it’s the same one I’ve had for twenty years. Then they tell me they fixed it and that lasts until I try to make my next purchase one department over and they give me the same run around.
Then there is the fun delivery system. They call you and give you a number to call if the time they’ve set to arrive isn’t convenient. So you call and reschedule and they still show up at the original time and then cop an attitude when your not available and claim that they NEVER told you they changed the delivery time and if someone did, they were wrong. Then they leave a number for you to call back again and you call the number and it’s some guy’s phone and he doesn’t answer but you get a message saying that he doesn’t have a mailbox set up so you can’t leave a message. So you call the 800 number back and they give you the royal run around about not being able to reschedule for another week… until, that is, you suggest they take their damn bike back and put it where the sun doesn’t shine. At that point, they surprisingly find time to deliver it later the same day… you’ll just have to sit home all day because they can’t even give you the vaguest of ideas about whether it will be delivered in the morning or afternoon or at midnight.And the delivery guy who calls you back to confirm they will arrive sometime between 8 AM and midnight has an attitude about how you are apparently inconveniencing him.
Sears sucks.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:45 AM •
Tuesday, December 09, 2014

I’m having a bad day and that seems to be the person everyone blames everything on. So I’m blaming my bad day on him. Shame on you Barack!

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:32 AM •
Monday, December 08, 2014

Today is the Catholic feast of the Immaculate Conception… or one of those Mary days. I remember this because it was my father’s birthday and because 18 years of Catholic schooling was bound to leave its mark no matter how hard I ran from it.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:31 AM •
Saturday, December 06, 2014
image

Trying to stay warm in mommy’s cold house on a winter’s morning while waiting for their breakfast.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:50 AM •
Friday, December 05, 2014
image

Everyone in my family has thicker hair than I do. Look at this kid. You’d think she could offer some of that bush to her needy older cousin. But no. She keeps it all for herself… and has the nerve to be cute, to boot!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:45 AM •
Wednesday, December 03, 2014

Remember Bird TLC. Go to their website at birdtlc.net and help us help the wild birds of Alaska. An eagle will thank you and a snowy owl will promise not to crap on your car.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:19 AM •
Tuesday, December 02, 2014

Yesterday he was sworn in as our lite gov, the first Alaska Native to win statewide office. We may only take small steps at a time, but clearly they eventually add up to big change.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:31 AM •
Saturday, November 29, 2014

I was listening to a news story the other night in which they spoke about people studying what will happen when the glaciers melt and I wondered how we got from IF the glaciers melt to WHEN the glaciers melt. So sad.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:11 AM •
Friday, November 28, 2014
image

Snowy jumps off the bed in the middle of the night because somewhere in the distance is the sound of a dog barking. He responds by barking madly, trying to wake me up to what is a clear and present danger in our lives. When I refuse to see that imminent danger, when I refuse to jump out of my warm bed to let him out so he can scare the demons away, he finally turns sadly back towards his bed. He has done what he can to save me. When that terrible thing comes bumping into my night, it won’t be his fault. He tried his best to warn me.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:30 AM •
Wednesday, November 26, 2014

As we enter that time of year where many men overeat and then sit in front of the tv watching a football game with their pants unbuttoned and often also unzipped, may I make a plea from the other half of humanity. WEAR LOOSE PANTS OR PANTS WITH ELASTIC WAISTS. Have some pity on those of us trying to digest food and gagging at the sight of your unbuttoned pants.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:19 AM •

Page 1 of 185 pages  1 2 3 >  Last »

Subscribe to My RSS Feed: RSS 2.0