Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Saturday, May 30, 2015

More importantly, how much nice weather can an Alaskan stand before they start losing their mind? I don’t know about you, but I’m on the brink. C’mon wind, rain and cold.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:00 AM •
Friday, May 29, 2015

Another conservative Republican lawmaker has been charged with a crime that includes covering up sexual abuse of another male years ago.
I’m shocked, I tell you. Shocked!
I wonder if he has a wide stance in the bathroom too?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 02:59 PM •

I ordered a mailbox from the lower 48 because I wanted a bird box. You can imagine how thrilled I was to get a deal with free shipping. Free shipping, that is, until I got this e-mail from the company. And do take note of how much they want to charge to ship a mailbox to Alaska!
“We can only offer free shipping on items shipped within the continental US.  An additional shipping cost of $111.00 is necessary to ship the Parrot Novelty Mailbox to your location.  Please note the shipping costs are transit costs only; payment of additional duties, taxes, or customs fee may be required upon delivery of your order.  Please get back to us with consent to process the charge or an agreement to cancel the order.
Thank you.
Lupe Barragan
The Mailbox Works
1734 Quincy Avenue, Suite 151, Naperville, IL 60540
Toll Free: 800.824.9985 | Local: 630.355.9989 | Fax: 630.355.9619
http://www.mailboxworks.com”

This was my response.
Thank you for your note but I’m a bit confused. If you offer free shipping within the continental USA, then why is it not available to me? What continent do you think Alaska is on? Believe it or not, we share the same continent as the rest of the country except for Hawaii so I expect that my shipping costs will be the same as everywhere else in the continental US.
Elise Patkotak

Can’t wait to hear back from them.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:02 AM •
Wednesday, May 27, 2015

I remember when I was young and watching Sandra Dee and Annette Funicello movies (everyone under sixty will just need to look up that reference), I dreamed of the day when two guys would fight over me to win my affection. It never happened. But now in my old age, at a time when I really don’t need this crap, I wake up at 3 AM to the sounds of soft growling in my ears. One dog is laying practically on my head. The other is curled up into my side. And yet, without moving, without shifting position, without even actually being able to see each other, they lay there growling at each other over me.
Finally, two males who want me only for themselves.
This would be so much more flattering if their desire wasn’t based on the food, treats, stuffed animals and walks I give them. Hmmm.... maybe that’s what I should have tried with their human counterparts…

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:32 AM •
Tuesday, May 26, 2015

This is a four minute video on how the re-introduction of wolves into a national park changed everything… for the better. Take a break and watch it because every once in a while, it’s good to be reminded of our interconnected everything on this earth is.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/ysa5OBhXz-Q

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:39 AM •
Monday, May 25, 2015

The saddest thing about this Memorial Day for me is that so many of the young generation have been maimed and hurt in a war in Iraq that was as unnecessary as the one in Viet Nam. Will we never learn? When the drums of patriotism are beat, will we always just cave in for fear of being seen as unAmerican, even when we know in our hearts that the war is wrong? So many wounded and damaged. So much money for war. So little money to heal those we send off to war.
I salute our veterans for doing their jobs as best they could. I point a finger of shame at the old men who sent them across the world to be blown up for no good reason.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:45 AM •
Sunday, May 24, 2015

That lingering smell of vomit under the dinner table from your dog’s foray into god knows what in the back yard just as people are coming over for a meal.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 04:43 PM •
Saturday, May 23, 2015

I’m in my office working away when I hear sounds that indicate one of my dogs is choking to death. So I go into SuperMomma mode, jump up from my desk and run upstairs. There I find Carm with his newest toy (thanks Auntie Sonya) stuffed so firmly in his mouth that it is blocking his nose and he can’t breathe. But because Snowy is sitting right in front of him waiting for the toy to drop, Carm would clearly rather suffocate than give it up. I would have taken a picture had I not been laughing so hard. I grabbed the toy out of his mouth as he looked to be about to pass out and pointed out to him and Snowy that Auntie Sonya had sent EACH of them a toy and they didn’t have to compete for the one. They were totally unimpressed. The only toy worth having is clearly the toy the other dog has.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:40 AM •
Friday, May 22, 2015
image

They say people and their pets eventually start to look alike. Well, this isn’t exactly a pet but it seems to me that perhaps Katie needs to take a short break as she is having a sympathetic tongue reaction to the eagle’s tongue. And that says “Take a break” to me.
The eagle is one of the many we are caring for at Bird TLC here in Anchorage. The bird is getting ready to be placed in an education program. And no, the eagle’s tongue doesn’t usually stick out like that. Katie’s maybe, but not the eagle.
Thanks to Phil Quinn of Light’n Up Inc (333-0879) for being both a great volunteer, a wonderful electrician and someone who knows a great picture to take when he sees it.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:28 AM •
Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Congratulations. Welcome to the reality in which most of us have lived for the past 12 years or so.

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:30 AM •
Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Got the bill from my dental surgeon for implant surgery I had. Found a $450 senior discount on the bill. I guess growing old does bring some perks. If you live in Alaska, his name is Eric Nordstrom and he’s actually a pretty amazing dental surgeon on top of being nice to the elderly. What more could you want?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:36 AM •
Monday, May 18, 2015

Leonard Pitt’s column about the guy trying to crowd source $30,000 for his health care is a must read. The guy is a Republican who refused to get Obamacare because he could pay for himself and didn’t need no stinking government welfare. Well, he got sick. Used up all his savings. Couldn’t work. And apparently health care providers don’t take bootstraps as pay. He then tried to get Obamacare but enrollment was closed. He wasn’t eligible for Medicaid because he lives in one of those states where a Republican governor refused Medicaid expansion money. So, as Leonard Pitts so wisely asked, do Republicans really think that GoFundMe is a better way to deal with health care costs than Obamacare?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 08:32 AM •
Sunday, May 17, 2015

Come join me and Cache Crow Kodi at the Alaska Zoo today for International Migratory Bird Day. Bird TLC will have birds there all day. Eagles and owls and crows, oh my!

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:21 AM •
Friday, May 15, 2015
image

So I get an e-mail from Judy that Ed Norton from the old Honeymooners Show (think early 1950s Jackie Gleason) will be at her casino/hotel in Atlantic City to sign autographs. I respond with a shocked expression of surprise. I thought for sure the guy was dead by now. And if he wasn’t, he had to be almost 100. She happily replied that yes, he was probably about 97. Then I thought about it a little more. But before I could e-mail her back that Ed Norton was the name of Art Carney’s character on the show and not an actual person, she sent a correction e-mail out to let us all know that she meant Edward Norton, the actor.
She was so damn close I almost want to give this one to her.
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Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:36 AM •
Wednesday, May 13, 2015

They’re supposed to be in special session yet nothing but silence emanates from their offices. I guess I shouldn’t expect much more than silence given that their collective IQ doesn’t come up as far as Forrest Gump’s. And if you delete the Democrats and only total the IQ of the Republicans, it’s downright scary how low the number is. Maybe the need a guardian appointed to help them the way we do for people with special needs. Or is that just insulting to people with special needs?

Elise Sereni Patkotak • 03:37 AM •

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