Elise Sereni
     Patkotak
Friday, July 29, 2016

Because I referenced the devil in yesterday’s piece does not make me a devil worshipper. Nor is he like Beetlejuice. Merely saying his name does not produce him. 

Elise Patkotak • 03:29 AM •
Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Tomorrow’s blog piece will contain references to the devil you know and the devil you don’t know. If references to Satan cause you discomfort, consider yourself warned. Also, consider getting a life.

Elise Patkotak • 03:26 AM •
Tuesday, July 26, 2016

If only they would make me Queen for the Day, I’d clean everything up and be in bed by nine. Politicians are useless.

Elise Patkotak • 03:48 AM •
Monday, July 25, 2016

You know you’re old when Survey Monkey tells you it is looking for a survey for you to take and comes up with one asking if you have bladder leakage.

Elise Patkotak • 03:28 AM •
Friday, July 22, 2016

Don’t know who exactly I’m thanking but given my misery of the past week in the heat, I feel I need to thank someone for the cooler weather and rain.
Bring back winter.

Elise Patkotak • 03:16 AM •
Wednesday, July 20, 2016

I was ready to settle down on the porch with a Long Island ice tea and New York Magazine when I took a perhaps too big sip. Suddenly column ideas flooded my brain. I ran inside to document them and then went back out. But I no sooner got outside than I had another idea and ran back inside. This in and out went on for more times than I care to admit.
Question - dogs can’t legally file commitment papers, right?

Elise Patkotak • 03:41 AM •
Tuesday, July 19, 2016

I have finally accepted that when I do my own hair each day, I don’t have a hair style as much as I have combed hair. But at least it’s presentable… kinda.

Elise Patkotak • 03:26 AM •
Monday, July 18, 2016

A dear friend of many years is coming to visit in August. She sent me an email inquiring into Alaska’s dress habits for going out to dinner in nice restaurants. This was my response. For the record, Judy is my sister.

In general, people in Alaska have a much more relaxed dress code than people in the lower 48. When Judy comes to Alaska, she says she knows she’s going in the right direction because the closer she gets, the more she sees people who dress like me. And I don’t believe she means that as a compliment. So the one truly lovely restaurant I want to take you to will be inhabited by people in business wear, tourist wear, the occasional carharts and everything in between. We don’t stand on ceremony much up here. So long as you have clothes on, we feel that’s really all we can expect.

Elise Patkotak • 03:58 AM •
Friday, July 15, 2016

Mel Gibson. He’s made it clear he shares many of Trump’s more… shall we say troublesome… views. And he hasn’t been working much lately so he probably has the time. I’d suggest Clint Eastwood but after that talking chair thing… well, best to let him fade in peace and not destroy the image he worked so hard to build.

Elise Patkotak • 03:47 AM •
Wednesday, July 13, 2016

I picture Republicans hiding behind their desks and not answering their phones for fear they will be asked to offer themselves up as a sacrificial lamb in the form of Trump’s VP.

Elise Patkotak • 03:45 AM •
Tuesday, July 12, 2016

Doesn’t Trump look like a hybrid of a human and overripe cantaloupe? Though I have noticed in recent appearances that his hair is looking more normal… not normal, but just more normal, not so much rising off his forehead. Maybe this is his way of being presidential?

Elise Patkotak • 03:43 AM •
Monday, July 11, 2016

Horseflies

Elise Patkotak • 03:41 AM •
Friday, July 08, 2016

Grey, cloudy, rainy, cool… my kind of summer.

Elise Patkotak • 03:12 AM •
Wednesday, July 06, 2016

This is what a true profile in courage looks like. In the end, he buried them with words, wisdom and justice. Makes our current crop of politicians look absolutely pathetic.

Elise Patkotak • 03:10 AM •
Tuesday, July 05, 2016

Does Donald Trump’s nmouth not remind you of an orange anus due to the ingestion of too many Cheetos?

Elise Patkotak • 03:08 PM •

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