Elise Sereni Patkotak

In 1961, then FCC Chairman Newton N. Minow famously said, “When television is good, nothing — not the theater, not the magazines or newspapers — nothing is better. But when television is bad, nothing is worse. I invite you to sit down in front of your television set when your station goes on the air and stay there, for a day, without a book, without a magazine, without a newspaper, without a profit and loss sheet or a rating book to distract you. Keep your eyes glued to that set until the station signs off. I can assure you that

Ah modern life. I was standing in my utility room getting dinner for the downstairs birds when the phone rang. Suddenly, a disembodied voice came from the phone after just one ring saying “bag lespee”. I thought it was odd that my answer machine was picking up in only one ring. I thought it was odder when I went in to the office to find no message. If no one had recorded a message on the answer machine, then where had the voice come from? I picked up the phone and there seemed to be nothing on the other end.

Turns out that having two hundred extra channels on TV doesn’t necessarily translate into having something worth watching. I now just have to scroll through more channels on the TV guide before turning the TV off and reading.

You can either freeze up or warm up completely. I’m beyond caring which you do. But for god’s sake, let’s stop the slop we are currently experiencing. It’s either winter or its not!

On Friday, a wonderful young man named Paul Mello came to my house and hooked me up to a HD cable box and a router for wifi Internet. I woke up in 1999 and went to sleep in 2010. He even fixed my remote so that it now controls everything but my bowel movements.If only I could remember even one thing he said. I can turn the TV on. That must count for something.

I know my dogs are bright and intelligent. I just know they are. But sometimes I do have to wonder.

When I got up the other day to let them out for their morning relief, I found a big moose all curled up in their yard enjoying a snooze. Clearly there was no going in the back yard. I went to the front door, opened it onto my front lawn and urged them to go do their business. They looked at me very puzzled. Clearly they had no idea why I was kicking them out of the house. And Just

I guess I shouldn’t complain about a four hour session at the dentist yesterday since I at least still have my own teeth to be worked on.  But still, four hours at the dentist is like four days anywhere else… unless you are having a proctology exam. Then it’s about equal.

As someone who has worked for over thirty years in the field of domestic violence, sexual assault and child abuse, I cannot express how thrilled I was when Governor Sean Parnell put his money where his mouth is and launched an offensive against these heinous actions.

What you need to understand is that in this field of work, we are used to getting a lot of blathering and bleating from politicians but little in the way of real commitment. When the camera lights and microphones go away, so does the interest of most elected officials as they turn their minds

I figure it must be spring, or at least the return of the light, that’s causing the juices to flow. Captain (Amazon parrot) clearly wants to have sex… and, in fact, does every morning with his perch. CB (Bare-eyed cockatoo and his cage mate), who used to resignedly lay eggs for him to get him off her back, must be getting menopausal because she is absolutely refusing his advances and won’t lay an egg for him.  And so each day the arguments ensue and do not end until they go back to their sleep closet.

Either Captain is just being

Am I the only one who goes to bed tired after watching the Olympics? Is this some kind of sympathetic reaction to all the energy they are expending? I don’t know the answer for sure, but I do know that I feel a great need to carb load even though I’m pretty sure I shouldn’t.