Elise Sereni Patkotak

So I was heading off to a charity luncheon where I volunteer as a waitress. I put on the nicest pair of pants I have only to notice a coffee stain on the pant leg. So I tried to wipe it off using a wet kleenix. That left crumbs of white lint on my pants and a big wet stain. So I tried to blow dry the wet spot. When it dried, I found out that what I’d done was create an even bigger, albeit lighter, stain. So I changed to my next best pair of pants. Then I let

It is still here. I am still cold.

Blaaaa!!!!!!

On any given morning, I get up, open the curtains on my back door to the porch and there are easily thirty or more robins sitting in the three trees behind my house waiting for breakfast. Did I miss something here? Aren’t robins supposed to be the first birds of spring? What the hell are they doing in the trees behind my house in Alaska, in the winter, with the temps hovering at 0 to 10 degrees F? And can I afford over $100 a week in bird food to keep them from creating an Alfred Hitchcock scene when I

Everyone wants to believe that their pet is the best…the smartest, the handsomest, the fastest….whatever. This is my Valentine to Blue to let her know that I love her anyway.

See, her buddy Blondie got impatient to come in one day and pushed in the bottom metal panel on the outside back door. Seems she once lived in a home where pushing on the door caused it to open and she figured if she just kept pushing, this one would open too. So I removed the metal panel until winter ends and I can work on the metal in less

I am so tired of fighting my weight and my blood sugar and worrying about what I eat and what part of it is going to probably kill me…somedays I just want to say, screw it! I’ll eat what I want, when I want and die whenever the hell it happens.

Then on other days I want to live long enough to spend all the money I’ve saved.

Then I think about that and realize that I could go through my savings in about three weeks without breaking a sweat. Which, since I’m not an eager shopper, says a lot

It has taken a few months but Blue has finally learned that even though she can see birds on the porch at the feeder, there is still a glass door between her and the birds. And she only had to run into the door twelve or fifteen times to figure it out.

The birds, on the other hand, quickly figured out that she is somehow blocked and barely responded the last few times she went headlong into the sliding door.

I think of the size of bird brains and the size of dog brains and realize once again that size

I’m getting lots of comments from people disappointed in some of the things Obama is doing. Truth to be told, I’m not so thrilled either. But I’m willing to give him some more time to get his presidency launched and sailing smoothly. As for those people horrified at the number of people from the Clinton administration that he is bringing back, may I just say that if he brought every member of the Clinton administration back, including Monica, we’d still be better off than when the BushCheney monolith ran the country.

In renewing my driver’s license, I wonder how many pounds I can shave off my weight before it crosses over from a venial to mortal sin?

I’m taking birthing classes with a young friend whose significant other can’t get down from Barrow in time to take them with her.  I am doing my best but I honestly think that when the nine months pregnant momma has to help her birth partner out of the kneeling position used for some of the exercises that the birthing partner may be a bit over the hill for this activity. Here’s hoping they don’t need to have a bed in the labor room for me because it gets too late at night and I have to go to sleep or