You would think at some point my dog Blue would be embarrassed to be walking around with bird poop on her head. But she isn’t. I try to tell Abdul it’s not nice to lure Blue under her cage by dropping food and then takling aim and pooping once Blue is occupied sucking up all the loose seeds. But Abdul is obviously amused by the whole process. And Blue walks around shaking her head because there always seems to be sticky stuff on it that’s dripping on to her face. And that, in turn, makes me very careful to check
Of elections and totally insane voter referendum
OK, now that all the political pundits and talking heads have had their chance to pick last week’s election apart, it’s time for a layperson to check in with her perspective. I claim the title of layperson since I can honestly say that I NEVER pay attention to most of the issues we vote on until absolutely forced to by an impending election. And even then I tend to hang up on all the recorded messages because I’m just too old and have way too little time left in life to listen to them.
So my preparation for an election
Why I should never drink caffeine after 3 PM
I drank iced tea at dinner last night without remembering the caffeine content. At three this morning I was trying to convince my dogs to wake up and play with me. They were not amused. Blue got up from my bed in a very disgruntled manner and moved downstairs. (Shades of my marriage!) Blondie refused to even lift her head off the couch and pretend that she heard me. So I was forced to lie in bed and wonder when I lost control of the pets in my life. And then the answer came to me. I never had it.
It’s just not the same
I took our family’s Easter ricotta pie recipe and tried to make it diabetic friendly by taking out the rice, not using a crust and substituting fake sugar. And I’m here to tell you, it’s just not the same. Not even if I close my eyes and wish really, really hard. Pie without crust, it turns out, is not really a pie and not really a cake and not really something that holds together outside of the pan. But it makes great ricotta pudding.
Global warming
The more I read about the dire predictions for earth’s immediate future, the more I am amazed at the fact that Kevin Costner might have been way ahead of his time with Waterworld. That statement alone probably indicates the end of the world as we know it.
Only over my house
I had to take a cab to an eye doc’s appointment this week because I can’t see to drive back after they’ve dilated my eyes. When the cab picked me up, the driver commented that it was raining all over town but when he turned down the road to my house, he noticed the rain turned to snow. He thought that was odd. I think it’s just cruel and that god will have a lot to answer for when I get to wherever it is I go after I die.
I need to get a life
For some reason, last night I went to a website that let me play Dean Martin singing That’s Amore. The next thing I know, I was singing as loud as I could while my bird Abdul looked at me like he suddenly realized he was in a locked room with a mad woman. Which he kind of was. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care that I couldn’t carry a tune with a wheelbarrow’s assistance or that I stumbled over half the words. Because suddenly I was back in my Italian childhood in Ducktown in Atlantic City and it was
I have morphed
I looked into the mirror this morning and saw the shadow of a mustache on my upper lip. It was then that I realized I’d totally skipped my mother and morphed into my grandmother. Now all I need are black orthopedic shoes, a black dress and an apron for the transformation to be complete. I am a nona.
Bureaucrats do a needed job
I was listening to a show on NPR about the chaos caused in Iraq by the wholesale firing of all Baathists after the invasion. While the reasons for the purge will probably be debated for a long time to come, and no one who has an ounce of sense in their heads doubts that some Baathists were very bad people, the result of the wholesale purge was total collapse of the civil service system in the country.
Yes, I can hear the laughter now from those who are thinking that maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad idea here. Get
My worse fears have been realized
John McCain has gone completely insane and Hillary Clinton now has enough money to buy the White House. It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world.