Is it true?

Is it true that the Apostles were the first OPEC and that they declared Fridays and Lent meatless times to increase their share of the fish market? And will I go to hell for even asking this question so close to Easter? Well, if I do, at least I won’t go alone. I have a whole cabal of young cousins who apparently find this a fascinating question to debate via e-mail. And with each successive missive I receive I realize just how much I really do like them and am so proud to be related to them. I just don’t plan to stand too close to them when their great grandmother rains sulphur and brimstone down on their heads.