Columns 2007

Control your dog!

Sometimes it’s just harder than others to remain the pleasant sweet person I usually am.  No, seriously, ignore the hysterical laughter coming from friends and family alike.  Normally, if left alone and not annoyed too much by state and national headlines, I can be a relatively fun person to have around. 

There is one thing, though, that will set me off beyond all belief – people who do not control their dogs.

I’m not referring to the occasional mishap. That happens to all of us dog owners once in a while. I recently came back from my walk to find my neighbor’s dog bounding down the block towards my dogs and me. This never happens. These people are usually very responsible dog owners and when they heard me calling, they immediately brought their dog under control and apologized. That’s called, for those of you who don’t recognize it as such, a responsible dog owner’s response. 

Here is what’s called an irresponsible dog owner’s response. Take the same situation – I’m coming down the block with my two dogs on leash. I see your dog, unleashed, bounding ahead of you towards me. I pull my dogs in to as short a leash as possible and call out to you to please control your dog.  You respond in one of three ways.  A. You cheerfully call back that your dog is friendly, thereby ignoring the fact that my dogs may not feel the same way.  B. You call your dog who totally ignores you and you stop trying and watch as I get tied up in two leashes and three snarling dogs. C. When your dog blatantly ignores your call, you turn around and go back into your house as though this somehow relieves you of the responsibility of your dog who is now engaged in pitched battle with mine.

Can you see why none of these responses would strike me as proper, correct or even vaguely appropriate?

I am probably one of the most animal oriented people you will ever know.  This has occurred slowly over the years as I’ve realized that, at the end of a day spent with a variety of clients and their kids, I’d much prefer the company of my animals than anything else.  All they ask of me is that I feed them, play with them, love them and, if dogs, walk them. They never expect me to listen to the hardships of their lives…well, actually, if they live with me they don’t have any.

But that’s beside the point. The point is that I am a committed and committable animal lover. So when I come home from a walk using every four and five and six letter word I’ve learned over many, many years, you know that something is wrong. I should be walking in the door with a smile of contentment on my face because I’ve had an hour of peace and quiet on a nice back road, surrounded by trees and mountains and the occasional moose, with my dogs excitedly sniffing every spot of yellow while I daydream about the day Paul McCartney will realize he loves me and comes to take me away to a life of leisure and…I’m sorry, where was I?

Oh yes, on a walk that should leave me relaxed and at ease.  Instead, I frequently return from these walks with my eyeballs bursting from my head because I have had to dodge loose dog and idiotic owners for an hour.  My god, the moose show more sense than some of the dog owners I run into on my walk, and moose have got to be some of the dumber quadrupeds walking this earth.

So, in case you missed the memo, let’s review the laws of common sense and dog ownership.  First, love your animals. Second, control your animals.  Third, never let them know they get everything in the will.  You’ll never be able to sleep with both eyes closed again if you do.

Loose uncontrolled dogs frequently end up tragically.  Even worse, your loose and uncontrolled dog can leave me with a tragedy on my hands if the dog tangles with mine and mine lose.  You are expected, as the human, to be minimally more responsible and intelligent than the animal you are caring for.  Most importantly, I don’t care who’s in charge in your home. you are supposed to be in control whenever you are outside. Just so we’re perfectly clear on that last point, your dog is NOT under your control unless he actually responds when you call him even if his interest at that moment is occupied elsewhere. If he doesn’t immediately shift his interest to your voice and return to your side, you do not have control and your dog should be on a leash. The only exceptions to this rule are when your dog is in your enclosed yard or you are the police and your police dog is chasing a suspect..

Now those are simply not hard rules to either understand or follow. If you think they are, you should perhaps rethink whether you are really meant to be a pet owner.  In fact, let me rethink that for you.  No, you are not meant to be a pet owner if you can’t control your pets for both their safety and the safety of others.  It’s that simple.