What the hell happens in men’s public restrooms?!!!!

The more I read about Senator Craig’s little episode and the convoluted and complicated little world of signals and taps and finger signs, the more I find myself thinking:

1. Boys never really do grow up, do they? They still have secret handshakes that make them cool….or secret something they shake.

2. If all this is happening in their restrooms, how come they still go in and come out quicker than 90% of the women I know?  Suddenly, I find myself hoping even more fervently that they take the time to wash their hands.

3. Why is it that women’s public restrooms are nowhere as interesting and fun?  The most that ever seems to go on in there is a mommy changing a baby’s diaper that is so rank that it clears the room out in ten seconds flat.  Is it because we simply have too many layers of clothes to deal with? Or because it would take too long to get our makeup and hair back in order?

4. Is it being too stereotypical to think that it figures that guys can go into the bathroom, have a relationship and come out again all in the space of about ten minutes?

These are the things I think about late at night as I go to sleep.  I think I should start taking sleeping pills.