Just put me in a home

If I ever again make the slightest gesture towards thinking that I’d like to paint or renovate my home, please just quietly lead me away to a home where they will keep me heavily drugged until the moment passes. Because as beautiful as my home now looks, I must say that I could have lived without knowing how much dirt, dust, debris and other unmentionables can build up behind, over, under and sideways of items with which I am in daily contact. I mean, seriously, how did all that crap get BEHIND my stove?