My sincerest apologies to Italy

Although my grandparents left Italy for a better life in America, they never stopped loving the “old country” – the country that gave us Dante and Michaelangelo and DaVinci, to say nothing of DiNiro and Pscino. Now, apparently in return for the amazing culture, beauty and grace Italians have given to the world, we are repaying them by giving them the cast of the Jersey Shore. If we hated Italy, this would be the most appropriate revenge ever. But we don’t. And so I must apologize to Italy from not only Americans, but specifically Italian Americans. Most of us did well in our new country. Please do not judge us by the drunken losers about to be set loose where once Cleopatra dallied with Caesar. We are so sorry.