The tree had too many legs

My dear old Blondie is on medication that causes her to wake up every night at least once and need to go out. So I got up last night and stumbled down the stairs to the back door with her. Out of habit, I did a quick sweep of the yard before opening the door. Nothing seemed out of place or moving. And that’s when I noticed that one of the trees in the yard seemed to have grown two legs. Which, as we all know, is two legs too many for any tree to have. I opened my eyes wider and tried to chase the fog of sleep from my brain as I peered into the darkness. I finally was able to figure out that I was staring at the back end of a very big moose who was standing in perfect alignment with the tree he was merrily denuding of all bark. Had it not been for the appearance of those two mysterious legs on the tree, I would not have seen him and would have sent poor Blondie out to pee under a moose’s butt.

I flicked the lights, opened and shut the door nosily, all to no avail. We stood there for ten minutes while the moose leisurely chewed. Finally he turned and in one easy leap was over the fence. But not before I glimpsed his full size when he turned. That was one BIG moose. I can only assume Blondie sensed the problem because she didn’t whine to go out the door until the moose had cleared the fence.

Good dog.