Why watching gymnastics if bad for you

I get up late on a Sunday morning, feed the birds, pour coffee and flop into my big chair to sip my last cup of coffee while eating breakfast from a dish balanced on what had once been my rib cage in front of the TV. And there they are… perfect little hard bodied young women with figures I never imagined I could possess even in my wildest fantasies. And I look down at the old bathrobe covering the midriff bulge and belly that shakes like jelly and… well, suddenly the day does not seem as wonderful as it had just a few minutes before. Damn!