He who gets the best chew toy wins

Bubba finds a left over piece of a doggie chew before Carm does. Bubba immediately jumps up on the couch where Carm is laying atop a pillow and starts chewing with exceeding and noisy delight on the chew that she has and Carm doesn’t. Carm sits bolt upright and stares at her in horror, periodically turning to stare at me as though I’ve betrayed him by giving her a treat when he wasn’t looking. I stare back without moving since I am very aware that I sit in a chair in my living room surrounded by the remnants of at least six other chewies. Carm continues to chew with clear and obvious joy. Bubba finally tires of the display, and my lack of apparent interest in righting the wrong, and gets off the couch to find his own chewie remnant. Lo and behold, he discovers a remnant of not just a chewie, but their favorite chewie, a little bone wrapped in fake bacon. He immediately jumps back up on the couch and starts chewing with even more gusto than Bubba is able to muster over her chew. Bubba’s eyes go wide at what Carm has found. She drops her now not at all attractive chewie and stares directly at Carm’s mouth. Then she stares at me. Clearly she also thinks I should right what she views as a horrible betrayal of her right to have the best left over, yucky chew. I still do not move. Eventually Carm gets tired of chewing, Bubba gets tired of staring, and we all go back to watching the Daily Show.

And people wonder if I ever get bored at not having human companionship….