Scribblings, Uncategorized

It finally happened

I don’t scream a lot. When I get angry or frustrated, my tendency is to stop what I’m doing and get stoned and return to it at a different time. But today, whatever has been building up since isolating finally erupted.

I ordered groceries using Instacart. I can’t even detail how many items the shopped brought me that were wrong. And there is no way to contact your shopper to return anything. I get to pay for it even if it is something I never asked for, don’t want and won’t use.

I was standing in the bathroom feeling the rage building up inside me as I counted up what each wrong item cost me and realized that no matter how many google searches I did, I was never going to find a complaint number for Instacart. It was then, almost without knowing it was going to happen, it did.

I screamed. I yelled. I let out an animal’s roar of rage. I even saw the mirror on the medicine cabinet shake a little. It was one long primitive howl of frustration at Instacart but possibly so many days inside had also gotten to me.

For what it’s worth, I felt ten pounds lighter after I did it. Almost knocked myself over with the force of the scream but oh god, it was so cleansing. I’d do it again tomorrow except the looks on my dogs’ faces tell me I probably shouldn’t.