In my humble opinion, when you have to walk on ice for your daily consitutional, and you take along an old dog who slips and slides and has to be carried to the few non-icy spots, god should let each step count twice so you can finish your walk quickly and get to safety before you break your keister. And I don’t even know what a kiester is…or how to spell it.
Did you ever…
Did you ever have one of those days where you wake up and there are just too many words in the world and they are all in your mind whirling madly? Am I the only one?
It’s been found
The book excerpt has been found. The pages are as god meant them to be. All is well in my world. And yet the Luddite in me still wishes for a time when stamps were a lot more important than they are today. I mean, how badly could you screw that up? Put the wrong amount on the letter? Paste the stamp on upside down? Forget to lick the envelope shut?
Oh god, I’ve done it now
This is my payback for thinking I can actually use one of these infernal machines. I tried to change the excerpt available in the book section and now there is nothing there. Puff. All gone. Disappeared into the ether. As though it never existed. And I once again ask myself, what the hell was the problem with just writing letters in the first place.
A day with the birds
I should probably only ever take my blood pressure after my morning at Bird TLC. I realized today that whenever I leave there, I’m smiling. Who smiles after being so intimate with rotting fish and eagle poop? And yet, it brings me joy.
It’s Monday
It’s Monday. The circle in front of my house is a frozen sheet of ice. Walking my dog takes the balance of a ballet dancer and the strength of superman just to get to the other side of the street without breaking anything valuable. I went to mail stuff at the post office only to find it closed. My nose hurts. My brain doesn’t want to function and I think I may be losing my fine sense of perspective on life. I should go to Curves but mostly I just want to go back to bed. Tuesday can’t get here
Maybe this isn’t the best medicine for me
Maybe this new blood pressure medicine isn’t the best one for me. I was driving down the street the other day singing very loudly to Miss American Pie when I found myself sobbing over the fact that I could remember all the words. I’m thinking that’s not a good sign.
Make money? I think not.
I just found out that some people actually make money on their blogs. This is apparently similar to the way some people make money in their lives through work and investments. I’ve never actually figured out how to do that. I’m sure it can be done. I’ve had the occasional friend who has done it. I see Donald Trump on TV and it’s clear that you don’t have to be attractive or particularly bright to do it. And clearly you don’t have to have a good head of hair. So I know it can be done. It’s just not something
Correction
In my column below I mention photographer artist Robert Mapplethorpe as the creator of the picture of a cross in urine. I was wrong. He did not do that picture.