Elise Sereni Patkotak

Since my two new dogs shed like there will be no tomorrow, dog hair is becoming a problem.  So, I went to Value Village today to buy some king sheets for my downstairs futon, my upstairs couch and the car.  As I checked out, the lady smiled at me and asked me if I was sixty.  I swallowed my urge to run screaming from the store and said yes.  She told me it was Senior Day and I got a discount on everything I bought. So those $2.99 sheets only cost me $2.40 cents each.

So now I have a

A priest fathers three children in Alaska but the Jesuits claim he is not responsible for child support because he took a vow of poverty.  Funny. That vow of chasity didn’t seem to be a stumbling block for him. Best of all, the Jesuits to whom he supposedly gave all his money also claim they are not responsble for child support. Yep. That’s exactly what I think Jesus would say. Screw the little children.  Yep. Sounds just like him.

It was cold here and it snowed. Then it got warm and things melted. Then it got cold again and everything froze up. That frozen stuff is called ice. When it’s on the road, you can’t stop quickly unless you use the bumper of the car in front of you as a brake.  Try and remember this as you speed down the street while on the phone, drinking coffeee and, for all I know, having sex in the front seat. Because I swear to god the first one who actually hits my bumper as opposed to skidding crazily behind me

I may not know much about policy and war and such but it does seem to me that it’s hard to win a war when the enemy is not fighting us but each other. If the Iraqis had gotten involved in our civil war, they couldn’t win because we weren’t fighting them. And we sure in hell weren’t going to listen to anyone who tried to negotiate a peace. North and South each wanted victory to support their world view and would take nothing less. That’s why we ended up in the war in the first place.  So why do

Real friends show up at a charity auction dressed in strange bird outfits and work their butts off all night to help make money for a cause they know is important to you. Real friends spend hours making a quilt to be auctioned off at the affair because they know it’s important to you.  And real friends drag their kids to the event to be free labor for the evening because everything we get for free leaves that much more for the birds.  Thank you Carol and Barbara, Kate and Elaine and Page and Lelani and Nick.