Elise Sereni Patkotak

It is the 500th day in a row of rain here in Southcentral Alaska.  People are starting to look grim.  Mold and mildew are growing in the most unimaginable spots on animals and humans alike.  We have become Juneau.  There is no hope left. They might as well move the capitol here.  You can’t insult the soggy.

If the rumors about Condi Rice and that Prime Minister are true, then she has a better love life than I do. The woman is the frigging secretary of state of a country at war and looks like you’d cut yourself hugging her and she not only has the time, she has actually found someone attractive, to date.  Now I really am depressed.

I grew up Catholic at a time when Catholic most emphatically did not mean Christian.  Christian meant Martin Luther.  Catholic meant the pope.  The gap between the two was the size of the Grand Canyon and just as hard to hurdle.

So growing up I never knew anything about the YMCA or the YWCA except that they had Christian in their name and so we didn’t go there.  We went to CYO.  Our C stood for Catholic and that made all the difference.

It wasn’t till I got to Anchorage that I started becoming familiar with the YWCA.  I was

…but then I see a picture of Laura Bush looking adoringly at her husband and think that alien abduction can be the only explanation.

Gee, an intelligence report just came out that shows that the war in Iraq has increased Islamic extremism and created a new generation of extremists.  DUH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have proven once again that there is not a piece of clothing alive that I can’t shrink when I wash it.  In case you’re wondering. I wanted these pants to become capri length.

Muslims are mad at the pope for what he said.  Christians are mad at Muslims for what they claim is said on a daily basis around the world about destroying Chritianity.  The pope goes off to some country and reads a quote from some 16th century writer that could not be more inflammatory but wants us to believe that somehow he just didn’t get how it would sound.  Fundamentalist Christians all but leap with glee at the war in the mideast, sure that this means the end of days is upon us and they are the only ones who will

Muslims are mad at the pope for what he said.  Christians are mad at Muslims for what they claim is said on a daily basis around the world about destroying Chritianity.  The pope goes off to some country and reads a quote from some 16th century writer that could not be more inflammatory but wants us to believe that somehow he just didn’t get how it would sound.  Fundamentalist Christians all but leap with glee at the war in the mideast, sure that this means the end of days is upon us and they are the only ones who will

I was cleaning out my closet and found Tom Cruise all the way in the back, cowering.  What could that mean? Does he know he’s in my Hall of Fame of Annoying People?  Is he afraid the press will find out? Could it be something else?

When I was little, my Aunt Adeline cut my hair without telling my mother. She was a hairdresser…a very bad one for a little girl. She believed, and who knows where this came from, that if you had thin hair and cut patches of it out, it would grow in thick.  My head looked like a checkerboard when my mother came to pick me up. She brought me to my dad’s barber who said the only thing he could do was to shave it all off.  And so he did. We have a great video of me as a cowgirl