So it’s been awhile but I’m back, my face is healed and, as usual, I lost my shirt at the penny slots in Vegas. Here’s some highlights.
So there we were… three little old ladies unable to open their package of pot gummy bears. Ok, they were my gummy bears but I figured I’d get more sympathy if I told these nice young men that all of us just wanted to get stoned and play the penny slots but couldn’t get the package open. And that was all I needed to say. One of them took the package while their girlfriends googled how to do it. Then another young man got involved. Then two more young men came over. And they grunted and groaned. Used keys and brute force. And after much effort, an effort they would not give up because their manhood was now on the line, they broke it open. The entire cafeteria applauded. It was a warm and fuzzy Vegas moment.
And seriously, there is no better fun in Vegas than playing The Walking Dead penny slots while stoned out of your mind. So many colors. So many bells. So many zombies.
And then there were the pelicans…
Did you really think I’d only have one picture of these birds? Silly you.
Finally, there were those ladies in the bathroom. The four of us had eaten at a very nice French restaurant in the Paris Hotel and Casino. We decided to hit the restroom there before heading out after dinner. Got to the restroom and found a line. Only three stalls and one stall seemed to be permanently shut with the sound of two voices coming out of it in a very loud and angry tone. They were speaking French so no one in line was catching much of what they said except when, very loudly and clearly, you heard the words “fuck you”. I guess there are no French words for that phrase or, if there are, they chose not to use it.
At any rate, the “discussion went on for some time and eventually these two very tall, very well dressed and very made up women emerged. Can you say high end escort?
But before anyone could get into the stall they’d just vacated, they went back in and the argument started again. As the fuck you phrase was heard repeatedly, those of us standing in line started to laugh. And then everyone in line started to laugh. And then we were all laughing so hard we were afraid they’d come out and see us laughing at them. And no one wanted that.
And that’s about it for my Vegas highlights since other than that, I brought the wrong clothes because I just assumed Vegas would be hot. Froze my ass off as the temps very rarely made it above 50 degrees. Yep, the Alaska girl was the only one without warm clothes.
And on that note, happy Chinese New Year – the Year of the Pig!