Author: admin

Do I really have to say anything else?  I do? How about getting my bags with the zipper opened one quarter of the way around and my underwear hanging out because TSA couldn’t be bothered to put the twist tie back on after checking to make sure my underwear wasn’t a bomb?

A long, long time ago when I was a child, my mother had two books on her bookshelf that I was not allowed to read. One was called Gentian Hill and one was called Green Dolphin Street. Eventually I got far enough into my teens to be allowed to read them. I read them and promptly forgot about them, without ever hearing from my mother why they had been forbidden.

A few weeks ago, I started thinking about these books and wondering what had been in them that had been so adult that I was not allowed to read them

I’m heading home and hoping my dogs will be glad to see me. The birds will be. They like me because I’m the only one they can’t intimidate. Like with most bullies, they only respect those they can’t bully. Plus, I wear a lot of protection when their eyes are flashing red as I am well aware of that danger signal.

But my dogs are another story. They get to spend my absence with a lady who treats them as the royalty they know they are. They get attention and walks and treats and more attention and more walks… well,

I have spent most of my life overweight so I am particularly sensitive to slurs against fat people. I spent my childhood listening to the taunts of mean children who would take my name Elise and contort it to Elsie and then call me Elsie the Borden’s cow.  So I know how it hurts to be fat.

But there comes a point where you have to look at yourself realistically and accept that being fat means there are somethings you can’t or shouldn’t do. Riding a pony if you weigh 300 pounds is just cruel, for instance. Or buying one

I’ve been squirreled away at my sister’s home for a week so that I could be the surprise at the surprise sixtieth birthday party for my cousin held on Halloween.  I went dressed as Sarah Palin with a full face mask, chest waders, a toy rifle and a toy stuffed moose with a sign around my neck that said, “Vote for me or the moose bites it.” Despite the fact that my surprise appearance somehow slipped out at least in suspicious whispers to some, most were unaware I was here until I unmasked at the party. It was actually a

Pardon me if I want to go screaming into the night at the idea that she got over one million dollars for a book she for dictated and some poor schlub wrote for her – that’s more than I’ll make in a lifetime of actually writing my own stuff which is way better than hers… except, of course, I can’t quite wink like she does.

Will Sarah win the contest tonight for the most imitated person on Halloween? Her masks sure seem to have been selling out like crazy.  And god are some of them butt ugly! Even Sarah deserves a better mask than that.

Letterman is good in his own way.  Leno is boring.  But Carson… oh lord, watch some of the retrospectives of his best work and you see why he was king – and always will be.

Because I can see my doctor as regularly as recommended to keep my health problems under good control. And because when he asks if I’m having any difficulty paying for the prescription meds, I can smile and say it’s not a problem because I have a wonderful plan.

My dream is that someday all Americans will be able to answer the same way because we will have seen the value, compassion and ethics that make health care coverage for everyone a no-brainer.

… what an absolute little freak Glen Beck is. Only in America… or maybe Nazi Germany….