Author: admin

I’m home with my little family of birds and dogs. There is lots of snow on the ground, the air is crisp and my finger tips are already cracking open and bleeding with joy. My house sitter, whose name I will not reveal for fear she will get so busy I’ll never be able to get her back when I need her, has set the bar high for my dogs’ expectations of what their day should be like. I try to explain that having her here was like their three weeks at a spa. They should enjoy it but know

There are two things you have to get up at 6 AM to start cooking if you want them ready for a meal that day…turkey and scrapple. In the case of scrapple, you must cook it on a painstakingly low light for an extremely long time to get the crust just right with the inside just soft enough. If you don’t, you might actually taste the pig snout.

You Hawaiians, Alaskans and all people west of the Mississippi can have your Spam. We Eastcoasters have scrapple, a delightful melange meat that is not afraid to boast it includes gournd pig snout.  Grab some ketchup and follow me to Nirvana.

I don’t know. Maybe here in the lower ‘48, turkeys magically appear all trussed up and ready to be eaten without ever having actually gone through the bother of living. At least, that’s the impression one gets from the reaction of people here to Sarah’s unfortunate moment at the turkey farm. While it may not have been her best PR moment ever, the reaction of some people down here would lead you to think that they actually had no idea that the turkey they ate at Thanksgiving ever actually gobbled and breathed.  Really, folks, if you are going to eat

I lost forty dollars at the penny slot machines which means this investment strategy for my future is as solid an any other I’ve indulged in. On the other hand, at least I had some fun losing it. My investments lost more than forty dollars in the same amount of time and gave me absolutely no pleasure in the losing.  Slot machines: 1 Investing in the marker:  0

Today is the official start of the Christmas holiday season despite the fact that Christmas carols have been playing since Halloween.  So today is also the official start of my climbing in bed and pulling the covers up over my head. Please do not disturb me until the airwaves are safe again.

And at least with the penny slot machines, I get to be amused for the afternoon. I find nothing amusing about Wall Street and how those greedy bastards stole my future. I’d rather just stick pennies in a slot.

The true test of the mettle of any family…or maybe it’s the true test of its level of insanity…is coming back together year after year for holiday meals despite it all. It gives new depth to the meaning of the phrase, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.”

It just takes one day at the penny slot machines to remind me why my first retirement plan is much the better one.  Yep. I’m buying me a lottery ticket tomorrow.