Author: admin

The bra my friend Jodie bought me as a joke gift for my joke 50th birthday this year fits me better than the bras I buy myself. What am I doing wrong?

Every day the sun was out this month…and yes, non-believers, it was out here in Anchorage for the better part of a week…I took all my birds out on the deck to enjoy the sunshine, fresh air and sounds of wild birds.  All are in cages except for Abdul, my African grey, who can’t fly and loves to just wander on the deck.  He lords it over all the others that he’s free and they’re not by doing his best strut up and down in front of their cages. Then, just in case they don’t get the point, he tries

By weight, my dogs shed at least four pounds of hair per month in my car.  And that doesn’t even count what is shed in the house.  Surely there must be a way to collect this and use it as an alternative energy source. It certainly is renewable.

I spent the other evening sitting on my deck with the sun shining and the mountains in the background.  My birds were all in their outdoor cages and on the deck with me.  Baby and Kenya were clinging to the side of their cage, sure that I’d brought them out there for some dastardly motive.  Captain and CB sat side by side, resigned to the fact that a couple of times each year I lose all sanity and make them sit in a small cage under a big green thing that sways in the breeze and could contain god knows

Not only do Blue and Blondie eat grass, but they apparently eat bugs too. As we walk, Blue’s head swivels from side to side with each bee or bug that flies by and then I see her jaws snap shut and then she’s chewing. And all I can think is that this is the same mouth that wakes me up with a lick each morning. I know, I know. Dogs do way worse things with their mouths than eat bugs but for some reason, this is the thing that makes me want to run from the room screaming “EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!”

And that means I have a god given right to wear sandals and a t-shirt with capri length pants even when the weather is 60 degrees with blowing wind and rain. For me, this is summer, damn it! I’ll wear my summer clothes and thank you all for not getting me committed.

You know you’ve gone around the wrong curve in life when you were raised Italian and some of the only remnant of the culture left in your life is that you are snobby about which box of grated cheese you’ll use.

Let’s set aside one day a year when no one is allowed to carry a cell phone and see whether civilization as we know it collapses or not.  That will be the day I’ll be willing to meet friends for lunch because I know that they won’t be answering their cell phones in what I can only assume is their hope that the person on the other end is more interesting than me. It’s the day I know it will be safe to drive because drivers will have at least one free hand – the other, of course, will be

My sister is travelling somewhere in Europe and I’m not with her. Something is wrong with the world. 

I went up Twenty Mile River with some friends this week for a boat ride. I’d forgotten how privileged I was to live in this amazing state.  It was just so gorgeous to go up that river surrounded by mountains and glaciers; to get off the boat and examine bear tracks in the mud; to breathe in air that just smelled good.  Alaskans are really the most lucky people in the world. This whole other universe of wilderness is just outside our front door.