My sister turns…well, very, very, old today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR JUDY. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU.
And neither of us will ever let the other see how much gray hair there is on our heads. On any given birthday from now till we both die, we send out our special love to those people who help us keep our secret…the hairdressers who dye that gray away.
Rain and umbrellas
When I walked Mr. T, I had a free hand to hold an umbrella in the rain. Now I walk two dogs and have no free hand for an umbrella. I get very wet. So do they. But they seem to enjoy it anyway. Maybe I need to rediscover that part of the joy of my childhood….running through the rain and laughing. Or maybe not. Maybe I’ll just be content with bitching and moaning about how wet and cold and miserable I am when I get back from these walks and how happy the dogs should be that I love
How long can I be this lucky?
I am traveling to another family wedding in October. I will get to wear the same outfit I wore to the past two. My sister approves so far. Since the next generation has reached the age where these events will happen more often than not for the foreseeable future, I find myself wondering how long I can get away with wearing the same outfit before my sister sneaks it out of my suitcase and burns it.
A thought
If I die and get reincarnated into a really hot body, will I know what to do with it?
He’s the cutest baby ever but???butt???
While I will grant you that as a fairy great-godmother I might be prejudiced in thinking that Rhodes is absolutely the handsomest, most wonderful child ever born this millenium, I must also confess that as I look at one of these pictures, I question whether or not his future will entail a tool belt around his waist. He is, I fear, channeling the spirit of Dan Akroyd.
How is it possible?
I know I’ve asked this before but I must screamingly ask it again…how is it possible for my dogs to shed so much hair and have any left on their bodies? Thank god Blondie has those big brown eyes and Blue has….well, whatever it is that Blue has besides diabetes that makes her so irresistible…because I spent a good deal of yesterday picking up gobs of dog hair over every surface of this house. And today…I don’t want to scare anyone so let’s just say it looks as though dog hair, once shed, can reproduce on its own.
A fight to the finish
It’s a fight to the finish between me and my dogs over who will get to the raspberries first. They go out, grab the branches they can reach and pull them till they break. Then they sit there and munch on the raspberries they’ve pulled down with the branch. Apparently no one has told these dogs they are carnivores.
Condiments
There should be some sort of federal law that says no matter what the date stamped on the jar might read, all condiments in the refrigerator door need to be recycled through the trash when they become seven years old…even mustard. Apparently old mustard can make you sick. Who knew?!
Pretzels
Am I the only one who considers pretzels merely the most efficient conveyance system to get mustard from the jar to my mouth?
Here’s a thought
Since Congress seems to be in the mood to pass laws that take away our constitutional rights without much of a fuss, I’d like to propose a new law for them to pass. It would simply state that anyone whose name has been in People or Us magazine more than twice in one year cannot reproduce EVER!