Author: admin

My suggestion for a Republican presidential debate that we might actually want to listen to? Have Drew Carey host it in a special edition of The Price is RIght. I mean, let’s just be honest that elected office nowadays is not so much elected as bought and sold by those with the most money, seeing as how money equals influence. I can’t wait to see Rick Perry jumping up and down and begging the wheel to stop on $1.

You are calling her name to wake her up to go down and pee before bedtime and you realize as you look at her in her sound sleep that in your head you’re thinking, “Oh god, let her be alive.”

Today my friend Grace gets very, very old…. we’re talking Medicare kind of old… we’re talking creaking bones and loose dentures old. And I’m wondering how, since we both grew up together and went to school together, she got to be so much older than I am… because I know I can’t possibly be that old.

Mark Twain once wrote, “It could probably be shown by facts and figures that there is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.” This proves, as if it needed proving, that contempt of Congress is not a new phenomenon. With its recent insistence, against the advice of all nutritional experts and everyone else worried about the childhood obesity epidemic in America, that tomato sauce on pizza was a vegetable, we find ourselves once more bowing in awe at what passes for intelligent legislation in DC and continue to wonder what the heck is in the water there.

So when

Ah, Herman… farewell… we hardly knew you before you disappeared from our radar… but we certainly knew enough to know we didn’t want to hear anymore. You are a disgrace to pizza makers everywhere.

None of the suggestions worked for making this simple. I end up holding her head in a perverted wrestling lock while she fights every moment of the application of a spritz of nose spray into each nostril. Now when I approach Blondie, I have to do it with my hands open and out in front of me so she can see that there is no dreaded spray bottle in them. Otherwise, she runs like the demons of hell are chasing her and doesn’t stop until she has scrunched herself into her little doggie cave at the end of my closet

Where do all the chia things go between Christmas seasons?

I got my medicare card in the mail last week. I’m officially old. I demand to know how and when this happened to me and why no one warned me it was coming.

When I was at Chestnut Hill College for Female Catholic Virgins (helluva entrance exam!) in the mid 1960s, the world around me was exploding with civil rights marches, anti-war protests (Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?….. they simply don’t make chants like that anymore) and women’s battle for equality. What were they doing at Chestnut Hill College for Female Catholic Virgins (helluva entrance exam!)?  The students marched in orderly fashion around the main entrance to the dining room to protest the removal of mandarin oranges from the fruit salad.

You can’t make stuff like that up.

I’m sitting at my desk writing a court report. It’s a report about a badly damaged family and, quite frankly, there is nothing nice about doing a report like this. I sit alone in my office wondering how people can do such things to each other.

Then I see movement out of the corner of my eye. Strolling past my window are a momma and child… only this is a momma moose and her calf. The slowly stroll the length of my fence, occasionally nibbling on some tree branches. They are in no hurry. They are still fat and with