Elise Sereni Patkotak

I have heard all the pious commentary about how America has to unite from the divisions we are currently feeling and come together to heal our country. Good luck with that.

I think this is something I will happily pass down to the next generation. Or maybe the generation after that. Because, quite honestly, I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it. I won’t do it.

Why? Because I have taken a look at the faces of Orange Peel’s supporters and they horrify. They are so filled with hate and rage at those less fortunate; they laugh at Continue reading →

I know I shouldn’t but I wanted a treat. I bought these two piece per packet fairly well respected frozen food company treats, brought them home, allowed one to thaw while I drooled, figured how much extra insulin I needed to cover it and finally bit down on it and thought, “Wait, was it always this sweet?” And by that I mean did each bite cause me to slow down and gag in the past? By the third bite, all hope was lost. The indigestion had already started. The burning spread northward like a southerner’s dream of winning the Civil Continue reading →

It’s hard in the world of Orange Peel to want to write on a daily basis about what’s going on in our country. It’s so sad and discouraging to see America with a president who doesn’t represent anything but the worst in us. This is a president who bombs someone in a country that isn’t ours or the country of the person being bombed but in a third country and enjoys the hysteria it causes.

Imagine someone doing that in America – sending a drone in to kill someone without our government’s knowledge or approval. Orange Peel would be on Continue reading →

Orange Peel has finally done it. It was bad enough we’ve been at war in the middle-East for almost twenty years. Now he has guaranteed we will be there for many years more. He wants a war. He wants to pretend he is some grand military leader with bone spurs. He wants to distract us from his impeachment and in doing so has made this world an extremely more dangerous place.

I look back at the past couple of years and can’t help but notice that the vast majority of mass terrorist attacks have been committed by homegrown terrorists who Continue reading →

So we had snow, then we had rain, now we have snow again. In a week, our temps have gone from below zero to almost 50 degrees and now back to the teens and single digits.

But not to worry. Climate change is but a myth perpetrated by every credible scientist in the world to just screw with you and Orange Peel.

Have a happy new year… and pray that we only wipe out a few thousand species this year so we leave at least a few for the kids to destroy. Continue reading →

Why I don’t own a cell phone… this seems to be an ongoing discussion among friends and family who feel I am somehow depriving myself of a life saving something or other. But honestly, it makes no sense to me so let me try again to help you understand why I hope to be the last person on earth to die without one.

First, I don’t travel very far alone anymore. I drive to the store and back and to the occasional midtown lunch. A cell phone is not needed to guide me there and if anything happened, I’m sure Continue reading →

According to the weather report, yesterday was the only day we would not have snow in about a week. So as someone whose eyesight is limited at best, driving while it’s snowing becomes a real challenge. I decided I needed to re-supply my house with all the essentials so that it could snow as much as it wanted for the rest of the weekend and into next week and I wouldn’t care.

What, you ask, are my essentials. Well, as an older person, I have found that simplifying my life makes it easier on a daily basis. So my essentials Continue reading →

Since Rizley first arrived in my house it became clear he would never be the push over cuddle pillow of wiggles that Snowy is. He was clearly above what he views as Snowy’s groveling, no matter what the situation.

So last night when I saw Rizley snacking out of his food dish at 11 PM, I picked the dish up and reminded him we didn’t eat that late at night because then he pooped on the floor while mom was asleep.

The look I got from him as I took the dish away would have shaken even a stronger woman Continue reading →

No, this isn’t about Orange Peel. It’s the holidays. We should put him in a box and not unwrap him until after the new year so we can all concentrate on what’s really important… straws.

I was at Olive Garden last week – we will pause now to allow my Italian family to collectively gasp in horror – and when the server brought me my diet Coke, a straw was already in it with the paper ripped off.

I know we live in Alaska and sometimes it still takes awhile for news to reach some people but we’re talking about Continue reading →

OK, I really celebrated. I stayed baked from the moment the first article of impeachment passed until I fell asleep smiling last night.

But here’s the thing. By the end of the evening what I was really smiling about was Nancy Pelosi’s refusal to send the Articles to the Senate until the Senate could basically assure a fair trial. Given that McConnell already announced Orange Peel’s innocence, you can see where impartiality would be a real issue.

Given that the Constitution provides no guidance on how long the House can keep the Articles until they are passed on to the Continue reading →