When you live with two dogs and seven big birds, you don’t get to rest when you’re sick. You just move more slowly and feel yucky while you do it. Sigh. Welcome to my annual winter “I feel like crap and don’t know why” cycle.
Chris Christie
Chris Christie is so New Jersey. He’s every reason I love the place. And he’s every reason I left the state.
Wise up and legalize pot
Am I the only one who thinks it strange that alcohol is the only legal, non-prescription intoxicant allowed in our country? Given it’s history, you’d think that people would be much more willing to legalize marijuana than allow the open sale of a drug that is infamous for causing people to get violent, drive recklessly and lose all sense of morality when overindulging. Speak to most law enforcement officers and they will in all likelihood tell you that if people are going to use some mind altering substance, they’d prefer people use pot over alcohol every time.
I am always
I’ve finally outgrown them
It seems as though some door is closing on my life as I admit this, but admit it I must. I have outgrown action hero movies. Partially it’s because they all seem to be filmed without lights and I am simply unable to engage with a movie in which I am constantly hitting the rewind button in an attempt to see what just happened in the dark. For god’s sake, directors, buy a lightbulb! Partially it’s because I can only watch so many car chases before I want to rise screaming from my chair. There is simply not enough tequila
Whether we fell off that cliff or not
Whether we fell off that cliff or not, the birds at Bird TLC still need to be cleaned and fed. So I’ll spend January 1 communing with eagles and owls and swans. It beats hell out of trying to commune with Congress.
Tomorrow is the ride of our lives
We officially go over the fiscal cliff at midnight. Enjoy the ride.
Ah the mid winter thaw
The snow starts to melt. The icicles grow. Every year Anchorage seems to go through a mid-winter thaw that exposes… well, exposes everything that you hoped would be hidden until spring when it was pleasant enough to go out and clean it up. Yesterday, my BuddhaBubba came in with a sunflower seed casing sitting on the bridge of her nose. I looked out and what had been white snow with occasional yellow spots has become black seed snow. It’s butt ugly. Please, oh please, let winter return.
Why I should never be allowed in a pet store
A wonderful friend gave me an extremely generous card gift to a national pet store chain. In a normal world, that gift card would have lasted for a few months. I went in and managed to not only spend the whole card, but put almost exactly the same amount out of my pocket too. I mean, how can you resist cute collars? Or fun bird toys? Or healthy treats in big bags? And lord knows, you can never have enough squeaky toys…
He’s ready
He’s got his FDNY shirt and his firetruck. He’s ready to be a hero.
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2012 Hall of Infamy
I usually create a Hall of Infamy for my last column of the year. This year I realized what an almost impossible task that was unless I had a book length space to fill. Otherwise I would surely do a disservice to some worthy idiot who annoyed us all in 2012.
The Republican nominees for president alone could take up veritable Dickens’ length chapters detailing their idiocy, bumble footedness, ineptness and inability to not say something so horribly insensitive that it left most of America looking dazed and confused.
Of course, the candidates at least were paying their own way