Elise Sereni Patkotak

It’s hard to know where to begin.  It’s not as though we haven’t seen sex scandals before, especially among our politicians. From men claiming they merely have a wide stance in public restrooms to presidents who beggar the definition of sex, we seem to have seen it all. Herman Cain merely joins a long and ugly line of men who thought that power entitled them to anything and everything they wanted because their ultimate power apparently resided – in their minds at least – south of their border.

But then the news about Penn State’s legendary football program broke and

How will I know when I’m old enough to start spending the money I’ve saved for my old age without worrying about spending it all before my old age ends?

I’m walking my dog. The ambient temperature outside is about 18 F, with a wind that makes it a bit chillier. I have on a sweatshirt, pants, heavy socks, a winter coat liner, a woman’s parka from Barrow that goes below my knees with the wolf ruff pulled up over my head and secured by a red scarf tied around my neck. Heavy gloves protect my hands. Coming towards me is a young boy who I would guess to be in junior high. He’s wearing light pants, a t-shirt, sneakers and a back pack. And nothing else.

And I have

When you receive an e-mail and the subject line reads, “Please open attachment, it is not spam”, your best bet is to NOT open the attachment.  Put this in the same book of rules as the one that states that any e-mail that begins with the phrase, “Dearest friend in our lord Jesus Christ from Madam Bantanu” should immediately be deleted no matter how much money it promises.

One of my foster birds, Wilson the Conure, is an amazing guard bird. If he sees a moose through his window he starts screaming as though he’s being eviscerated alive. This gives me a chance to go watch the moose before it disappears from my yard. And Wilson will stop screaming if I go stand next to his cage as he apparently feels that if push came to shove, I’d win the battle with the moose. You’ve got to love the faith your pets have in you.

Am I the only one who notices that Rick Perry sounds and acts like Bush-lite? Who could have even imagined that was possible? I was firmly convinced you couldn’t get much lighter than Dubya. Which leads me to wonder what’s in the drinking water in Texas that they keep electing people whose brains could fit into a flea’s stomach with room left over for an agent’s heart. (Sorry about that… an old, old joke I couldn’t resist.)

As yet another politician faces problems due to his own postings on his own website… in this case, a New York politician who posted pictures of himself nude… I have to ask what the hell is wrong with these people? Are they the stupidest people on earth? Are they the last to get the word that if you post something on the web, someone else is going to see it? Do they honestly believe that what they might consider an attribute will be viewed with enthusiasm and not horror and disgust by the rest of the world?

Since I’ve yet

I am going to break my vow to never mention Sarah Palin’s name in one of my columns again in order to tell a story that has nothing to do with her political career. Back when Sarah only had mayor of Wasilla and resigned member of the Alaska Oil and Gas Conservation Commission on her resume, a new program was beginning at Hiland Mountain Correctional Center – a women’s string orchestra, the first of its kind in Alaska and still the only one in the country. Sarah was there for one of their first Christmas concerts. So was I. She

When I got out of college, I had no debt and a great job future.

When kids get out of college today, they have thousands of dollars in debt and a very poor job future.

What is wrong with this picture?

I’ve tried to pretend they weren’t there. I’ve tried to ignore them. But there they were… the day after Halloween… Christmas commercials.

Thank god for the two greatest inventions ever made for TV… the mute button and the fast forward button.